If only things were the way they were again ...

Lindsay Lohan's back to black! Well, not really. But her hair is a nice dark brown. It doesn't quite suit her, but that's what I said when she dyed it blonde ... [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

MTV.com spoke to Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari at the Rock & Republic fashion show in Los Angeles on Wednesday night about her plans post-Laguna Beach: "I like both comedy and drama, so we'll see ... I've had a lot of meetings trying to decide my next career move. There's things we're talking aobut, but I don't want to jinx it." Dammit, why can't MTV even get the name of their newest star right!?

Attention whore Lou Pearlman, who founded such pop groups as Backstreet Boys and *N Sync is speaking out about Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's marriage. He told Star magazine that the couple's recent trip to Italy was a "last-ditch attempt to save their marriage." He also added that Lachey told Jeff Timmons, formerly of boy band 98 Degrees and current client of Pearlman's, that "My marriage is shaky right now. I'm hoping this trip will turn things around. This trip could be a second honeymoon -- or preparation for a divorce. I don't know what's going to happen, and Jessica doesn't know what's going to happen, but we're going to give it our best shot." Might I add that both Nick and Jessica's reps are denying these claims?

[IMAGE REMOVED, out of fear.] Britney Spears posed for photos with baby Sean Preston Federline in People magazine. She looks pretty damn good for someone who looked like a flesh-colored Grimace (one of Ronald McDonald's friends). Baby's not lookin' too bad either -- yet. [Photo courtesy of Wikipedia]

Things are getting messy between Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton. In the newest Jane magazine, Richie reveals that "We really haven't been friends in probably about two years." When asked about a possible reconciliation, she said, "No, not at this point." Well, of course, this interview was done months ago, so ... still not sure what's going on between the two of them -- alTHOUGH ...

"Oh No They Didn't!" is reporting that Richie tried to prevent Hilton from entering LA nightclub LAX last Friday. Richie's fiance, DJ AM (aka Adam Goldstein), owns the club and she had the doormen tell Hilton that, "Nicole doesn't want you here." But with her sleazy and wily ways, Hilton managed to get in and began "pulling down beads ... and throwing them at Nicole." When she was good and drunk, she bitched at Nicole and basically accused her of leaking "that f*cking picture" and was promptly escorted out. But not before screaming, "Your movie sucks!" Nicole, probably less drunk and definitely more educated, said, "At least it's coming out!"

Not sure it's true, because it sounds too good to be true. We'll see -- in time -- if Season Four of The Simple Life ever comes around ... [Photo courtesy of "Oh No They Didn't!" who was unclear about where they got the picture. Forrest Nelson, maybe?]

The Blondes Strike Back!

Someone who knows someone who knows Taylor Cole from Laguna Beach is happily sharing all their secrets with the World Wide Web. He or she writes, on "Oh No They Didn't!" that both Cedric Channels (J. Wahl's sidekick and wearer of the pink briefs) and Taylor (and about fifteen percent of Laguna Beach High School graduates) go to the University of Arizona, and Talan Torriero went to visit and "never left, so he is trying to get in starting next semester. Also, Jason [Wahler] was never on the baseball team. Rosters from their high[]school apparently prove this ... and the biggie: Jason is in rehab for coke."

Take a deep breath. That was a lot.

Now that cool-down time's over, it's time to get dirty. First of all, I highly doubt that Talan's thinking of enrolling in school in Arizona. I mean, dude, is he going to build a makeshift recording studio in his apartment? How's he going to continue causing a ruckus with Lindsay Lohan? And Brittany Snow? How many girls is he balancing in his little black book right now, anyway? Secondly, Jason? Coke? Rehab? Nah. I mean, does he look like a cokehead to you, in his antique car? He's been seen all over the place with "hottie with a body" Lauren Conrad in the past couple of weeks. And plus, isn't he at that Catholic Aquinas school?

So ... Tara Reid said she's giving up alcohol.

And just when you thought the world was coming to an end, Paris Hilton saves the day with some worthless celebrity fodder. Apparently Tom Sizemore (of Saving Private Ryan) claims that he got some nookie with Hilton when the sound of "repeated clicks of a cigarette lighter" in his house after a party led him to the sex video star. He then suggested that the have sex. He also claims that she said, upon leaving his house the next morning, "Goin' to Sundance. See you next week." Bitch.

Of course she's saying that no such thing ever happened. And, this time, I actually believe her. I mean, he is trying to sell his sex tape, "The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal." [Photos courtesy of celebweb.org and a very unfortunate girl named Kim Cohen.]

So the big question that everyone's been dying to know the answer to: why wasn't Ashton Kutcher's twin brother Michael invited to the Ashton-Demi wedding? Well, tells the boys' mother to Star magazine (a reputable source, I know): “We were determined to keep the wedding a secret and we though the best way to do that was keep Melissa [the wife of Ashton’s brother, Michael] out of the loop ...”. Meaning she has very, very loose lips. Mrs. Kutcher went on to say that it was “a favor to Ashton from a loving brother.” Aww.

And lastly, with everyone hatin' on Ashlee Simpson (even going as far as calling her album "I Am Dreadful"), she seems to be taking things in stride. TeenHollywood.com says that she thinks people have been nicer to her ever since she dyed her hair back to its natural color: "People are nicer to me. They smile at me as I walk down the street ... It's funny because with your hair colour you don't change as a person. But when you have that jet black hair people like think that you might be a little bit scarier. But I'm not scary at all!"
Or maybe they just want to befriend you so they'll be there when you need some comforting when everyone starts slamming your new album. Free drinks, anyone? [Photo courtesy of Clasos]

Co-stars revolt!

"Oh my God, we're back again ..." Yes, it's the return of the Lohan Twins. The I-Made-Lindsay-Who-She-Is-Todays -- Boobies, if you will. Looks like Lindsay Lohan has made a safe return to Healthydom. Glad to have you back. Now it's time to turn our attention to Hilary Duff, although her causes for weight-loss have less to do with food portions than ... oh, here's where I shut my mouth. I've already said too much. [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

The New York Post is reporting that Bam Margera has told Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have seriously -- no, seriously -- called it quits. Poor Nick is still denying all of the rumors. What else does he have without Jessica, though? [Photo courtesy of Just-Jared.com. Gotta love that pic.]

Another celebrity is speaking out about his co-star's marital status. Ray Winstone, who is currently filming Beowulf with Angelina Jolie, is saying (basically), "What!? You didn't know that Angelina and Brad Pitt were engaged!?" Hmm ...

Naughty, naughty co-stars.

And a pic I found of Jason Wahler and Lauren Conrad from Laguna Beach. I should've posted it earlier, before they aired the episode when the two got together. What a weird couple. What a mofo, with that weird car of his ...

Laguna Matata

Apparently Us Weekly is claiming that Laguna Beach's Stephen Colletti and the infamous Trishelle (Cannatella) of The Real World HAVE hooked up. I really don't want to know all the gruesome details and would prefer not to think of pure little Stephen that way. But it's out there ... all of Trishelle's germs and STDs. As the once-wise Stephen has said, "Just wear a jimmy. Maybe even two."

Here's a lovely photo of Stephen hitting up the beer bong from this past weekend in New York City (although I heard that he was spotted in Long Island. What the hell is he doing out there!?). Credit goes to the girl who got to meet him in his fortunate condition, who posted this on her MySpace.

Speaking of MySpace, I'm not one who condones the sharing of stalking products, but someone posted this on a Laguna Beach forum and it's too funny to pass up. Alex Murrel left Alex Hooser a comment on her MySpace that reads:
alyhoooossyyy im sayin halooooosssyyyyy......"these are the dayss of our lives".....lets get blacked out tonight yeyaaaaa.....erik and his lil pizza haha....u me erik and chris are gonna go to disneyland haha thats gonna be funnyyyy timess......with lil erik....long e gong a cong yong spong hong e rong e spong cong o mong e spong!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps. Kong rong i song tong i non song u cong kong song spong..hahaha spong will one day rule the world!!

I don't think I should have to elaborate on that.

I also don't feel that I should have to report or elaborate on the Ebay listing of Lindsay Lohan's Mercedes Benz headlight from that awful crash she had over a week ago. It could be funny, but no one's bid on yet. At least not since I checked ...

I happened to walk by the television last night, and Charlotte Church was doing an interview on some station. Last time I heard her speak was when she was twelve or thirteen and promoting her first album. But now she's doing the rounds, promoting her pop-album "Tissues and Issues." Let me just tell you -- I would not get touch that girl with a ten-foot pole. Gawd. First of all, she looks awful. Like Hillary Clinton before the presidential years plus another twenty years. She kind of looked like an unstylish Anna Wintour, even. Especially with that hideous new bob of hers. Second of all, she seemed like a terribly nasty person. She gave off the "I'm rich, young and famous and I don't give a flying f*ck about you, can you fetch me a glass of wine, though?" Yeah. And check this out ... photos of her observing her boyfriend Gavin Henson getting his hair cut. If I were the hair cutter, I'd probably be trembling with fear. Okay. End of caring about Welsh celebrities.

Page Six is reporting some not-so-kind things about Kirsten Dunst. It's about time that she, like Aaron Carter, got herself some new friends. Page Six says: Some of Kirsten Dunst's pals are concerned about the talented actress. The blond pixie showed up to the premiere of her flick "Elizabethtown" last week "disheveled," said one spy. At the after-party at Providence, Dunst proceeded to "drink a lot and got very loud and obnoxious. She was very pushy." Sadly, we hear it's not an uncommon occurrence. Nah. Her friends are cool. It's these so-called "spies" who aren't.

And the last bit for today ... apparently, The N has posted photos from The Click Five visit on their site, The-N.com, and my face is plastered all over a certain flipbook. Good times. Just to clarify -- I'm not a fan. The N just felt bad that The Click Five had to perform for a bunch of mid-to-late twenty-year-olds who were waaaayyy out of their target age group. Clearly. [Photo courtesy of The-N.com, courtesy of Stu. My nose looks like it's been Photoshopped. Hmm ... but I like the eye-contact going on between Eric whatever-his-last-name-is ... Hill? Hobb? and I.]

Before They Were Stars: The Hair-y Edition

Okay, so I got my hands on a copy of Ryan Cabrera's pre-Ashlee Simpson, pre-Take It All Away (and probably pre-big hair) album, Elm Street. I'd like to know what the hell's happened to him since! I went out and purchased my copy of Take It All Away the day it came out and it was a decent album, but his newest album is crap! Honestly ... nothing's catchy and I don't believe a word he sings. He's settled far too comfortably into his "nice guy" image and is clearly telling the girls what he knows they want to hear. His Elm Street stuff sounds so much more real, raw and less-produced. (And so was his hair, I'll bet.) Resprout a backbone, Cabrera. And bring on the sax for another rendition of the jazz-infused "Spanish Song!" (I know ... wtf, right?)
[Photos courtesy of ryan-cabrera.com]

So rumors are flying that Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody may no longer be a couple ... it seems as it Bilson fell for co-star Zach Braff during the summer shoot for The Last Kiss. Not sure if this is true, but I'd be heartbroken if it were. BUT I have discovered the reason why he didn't have a prom date in high school!


(Very San Diego of him. At least he has an excuse for looking that way ...)




(Okay, I would've dated that ...)
[Photos courtesy of "Oh No They Didn't!"]

From "Oh No They Didn't!": Paris Hilton just got added to another celebrity's black-list. Kirsten Dunst left her table at LA nightclub Mood momentarily, only to return to find that Hilton had taken it over. Try as she might, Dunst couldn't get it back and had to move out of the packed VIP section altogether. Apparently, she was overheard muttering, "I hate that girl."

Laguna Beach. So I don't know how many of you know this, or how long it's BEEN known, but Talan Torriero is in the unsinkable Kaci Brown's music video for "Unbelievable." I really dislike that girl -- had to sit through two awful performances where she ran from one corner of the stage to another in her Uggs (in the middle of the summer, no less!), screaming "I'm soooooo excited!!!! Are YOU exciteddddddd!??????" and romping her head around. But anyway, you came here for Talan news, not Kaci Brown. Well, he is. If (God forbid), you go to Kaci's website, you'll be able to find a link to the video. He's the one in the black shirt for most of the video, although there's a guy in a blue shirt later on who seems Talan-esque. I'm not linking to her site. This is as far as I go to "promote" the girl.


But I am leaving you with a cute (as much as I can say that about him) photo of Talan at some event where he's fooling around with Chinese tea sets. I'm liking his new look. Very Ashlee Simpson of him to dye his hair dark. [Photo courtesy of Getty Images]

Crunch time ...

According to a caller to a Chicago radio station, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were seen smooching at Chicago's Gibson's restaurant. Apparently Aniston was calling Vaughn "honey." The photo was supposedly taken the same night, but who knows.

So since I last updated, The Simple Life is ... back on? Paris Hilton is said to have written an apology to one-time pal Nicole Richie. According to sources, The WB and NBC are in talks to pick up the fourth season of the show, since FOX can no longer "see a place" for it in their schedule.

Paris' boyguard got the two in a somewhat awkward situation outside LA nightclub Mood. A photographer got too close to him, so he attacked and yelled, "Don't ever touch me." I guess Paris felt a little bad about it all, because she started signing photographs. Maybe, after all we've been through, Paris is starting to grow on me. It's all Perez Hilton's doing, I tell ya. Why does Paris look so damn cute in those photos!? And feel bad about using the word "bullshit?"

Must. Stay. Away. From. Perez. Hilton.

Aaron Carter needs new friends. And family, too, but we'll save that for another day (when I'm married to his older brother Nick). So anyway. Little Carter's friends are talking trash about him to the tabloids, AGAIN. Now they're building on the hookah/marijuana story they sold earlier this year and saying that they're concerned about his drug abuse. One particularly honorable friend told New York's Daily News: "He has been hanging out with a bunch of older guys in Los Angeles, and smoking way too much weed ... He's been missing appointments, not showing up to things. It's gotten out of hand, and people are worried." I think this "friend" is just jealous he's not a big boy himself. Then again, if I were Aaron, I'd be in far worse shape than he is. Poor kid.

Mischa Barton has reportedly been asking for a raise for her work on The O.C. People, surprisingly, are being sympathetic. Maybe it's because they all think her new beau, Cisco Adler, is a jackass and that she should go back to Brandon Davis (I, for one, am!). Well it's a point for Team Davis, because everyone's saying that the only reason Barton's been asking for a raise is because Adler's a tightwad. But that's no need for a six-figure-per-episode salary! Save that for the fourth season.

And lastly, some stupid Laguna Beach "news." Recently at the Boost Mobile Celebrity Surf Weekend in southern California, the cast was "so hung over they couldn't catch a wave." That's sad. These kids have nothing better to do all day but to drink, smoke pot, snort cocaine and sleep with one another. They can't even do that right!? I'll bet it was Alex Hooser who gave it away when she ran by Stephen and Jason yelling, "It's a fiiiiieeeeeessssstaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

Album Review: I Am Me, Ashlee Simpson

There's no denying it this time around: I love Ashlee Simpson. Her new album I Am Me (which drops October 18th in the United States) takes a big leap from her first album, the somewhat ill-fated Autobiography, but builds upon the same Ashlee we have come to know and love. Some may have written her off after her humiliating lip-synching/acid reflux skirmish, but if nothing else, I Am Me demonstrates that Simpson has learned from and risen above the blunder with sincerity and spirit.

Last year, Simpson rode on the tails of her reality-show fame to gain platinum status with Autobiography. Her songs, though catchy, were fluffy and frivolous. A favorite song off the album, "Better Off" featured cutesy lyrics "I spilt my coffee, it went/All over your clothes/I gotta wear mine now." "Shadow," Simpson's second single, drilled upon her relationship with superstar sister Jessica, before the crushing mishap on Saturday Night Live in late 2004.

But with a new year comes a new Ashlee. Back to her roots as a blonde, she seems to be accentuating her growth as a woman more than her poor-second-born persona. She unveiled her new look at the Teen Choice Awards this past summer, seeming at first, a little bashful. Without a reality TV medium through which she could elucidate her mistakes and choices, Ashlee took on the critical audience with her first single, "Boyfriend." The fun and flirty song made for a fitting segue between the dark-haired days of Ashlee to the mesmerizing and poised twenty-one year old she is today.

"Boyfriend," as many singles tend to be, is not a model for the rest of the album. I Am Me takes on pop music from a different angle -- perhaps a more 80s pop-rock one, and does a magnificent job. "In Another Life," is a simple and honest pop song with just the right hook: "Do you love me, oh do you love me/I'd say so/Do you need me, oh do you need me/God, I hope." The more publicized song, "L.O.V.E.," is more of a Gwen-Stefani-meets-Christina-Aguilera type of dance tune, but whatever type of song it may be, there's no way this song won't get stuck in your head.

In "Dancing Alone," which is just another of the 80s-driven pop songs on I Am Me, Simpson sends young girls the message that it's fine to save her love (in every sense of the word) for someone who's really worth it: "So here I am, looking pretty for you/They come and go/So many faces, it's no use/So I'm dancing alone ... 'Cause your love's worth waiting for."

Simpson ends the album on a slow and serious note with "Say Goodbye," as she did delicately on her first album with "Undiscovered." Although a ballad, its 80s influence is still evident. It has a fantastical and Madonna-esque quality to it -- the music video would no doubt feature a rolling fog created with dry ice. It's soft and sweet -- two qualities Ashlee has surprisingly grown to embody after taking so many hits in the past year. "So I scream, scream 'cause it hurts/Your every word/Cuts me inside and leaves me worse/There's no way back/And what if there was/You'd still be you and I'm still me," she sings, devastatingly. It's unclear whether she's singing about the SNL incident, Ryan Cabrera, or a newfound love, but maybe it's better this way.

Without the cameras following her around, we can only guess at who she may be singing to or about. "Boyfriend," which is rumored to have been written about Lindsay Lohan's ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama, may be the only intimation we have into her life as Ashlee Simpson now. And that is a unmistakable sign of having stepped beyond the reality-show foundation she built herself upon.

Photos courtesy of Amazon, celebweb.org, and Egotastic.com

Been there, done that.

So lots of Paris Hilton drama today. Now the heiress is saying that Paris Latsis cheated on her at his bachelor party. I heard that he confessed that he'd had an affair at his bachelor party. Hilton's never really had her facts straight, so I don't know what the hell's going on. Just like Jude and Sienna don't really seem to know. But I think all we should concern ourselves with is the fact that it's over.

FOX has canceled Paris and Nicole Richie's somewhat long-running show The Simple Life. The network said that "We did not see a place for `The Simple Life' on our schedule this season," and further went on to say that the stars' incompatibility played a role in the cancellation. Aw, that's too bad.

Lindsay Lohan looks none-too-happy with her food there ... Wonder who took the photographs! Check out Egotastic for a photo recap of exactly what went down. Loves it.

And apparently, Mischa Barton's ex-boyfriend, heir Brandon Davis, wants her back. According to some unnamed sources, he's lost twenty-five pounds (good riddance!) and admits now that he took her for granted. Hell, I'd like to see them back together. He looks hot(ter) now ... that's more than I can say about Cisco Adler.

What what!?

So it's been nearly a year since I started this thing up, and I don't think I've ever mentioned Gilmore Girls, which is one of my favorite shows. The word on the street is that Matthew Perry and Lauren Graham are together (again? I think there was a time people were spectulating, but they denied everything). They showed up together at last Saturday night's "Kitchen Confiential" party in West Hollywood. I wonder how Graham feels about being single now that Lorelai's love life is more or less complete.

I really dislike Peter Gallagher on The O.C., but ... he's an integral part of the show, so I'm going to report it. (I never said I wasn't biased!) The Brooklyn-born actor is set to release an album -- through Epic Records -- of SOUL songs. The record is titled 7 Days in Memphis, and will be released next month in the United States, if you were at all interested in hearing Sandy Cohen sing.

Katie Holmes' parents aren't happy with her? No kidding ... apparently her very-Catholic father disapproves of her having a child out of wedlock and even failed to show up for Mass the weekend after the announcement was made. Well you know what, Martin? I disapprove too. For the love of mankind, someone please FREE KATIE!

I've never liked Lindsay Lohan, but I've REALLY never liked Megan Fox. Most of you may not know who she is -- I probably would've had the fortune of not knowing as well if I hadn't seen the Olsen twins' straight-to-video Holiday in the Sun. But she played the bitchy girl in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, which I saw once and only once and never intend to again ... apparently, the 19-yr-old actress is dating 90210's hottie Brian Austin Green, who is himself a ripened 32 years old. Fox tells FHM in an interview full of unnecessary details: "I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy. My sex drive is so high. I'd rather have sex with Brian all the time than leave the house. Apparently he doesn't mind." She also goes where no former co-star should ever go and rats Lohan out: "Lindsay and I weren't the best of friends. Because I looked older than her, she'd be nice to my face. I would buy her cigarettes. We got away with it every time." [Confessions was filmed when Lohan was sixteen.] Once a bitch, always a bitch. Fox previously dated 7th Heaven's David Gallagher, who I have a few stories about myself ... poor kid, man.

Old-ish news now, but as a retort against all those rumors that Sienna Miller cheated on Jude Law with Daniel Craig, Miller is saying that the two never got back together after he declared that he'd cheated on her, and that they're only still living in the same house because she hasn't had time to go and find a new one. Oh, that's why. Maybe this is a sign that we should all butt out and stop gossiping and speculating on the lives of people we don't know.

Or not.

Randoms

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Who's that girl, where's she from, no she can't be the one ...

I may be sick, but the Pop World still turns ...

The producers of Laguna Beach have commented on their expectations of the third season: "We're gearing up right now to sort of roll right back into production," says Tony DiSanto, the show's executive producer. "The idea is since these kids who live there go off to college, they come home occasionally so it will be similar to this [second] season in that you'll see a lot of familiar faces coming through, but the story will focus on a whole new batch of high school juniors and seniors."

What fun. As if I didn't already not care about Taylor, Alex M and Casey ... the only ones I care remotely about all appeared in the last season. (We -- I -- <3 Jessica!)

Kristin's lookin' really stylish these days, isn't she? Here is she is with current flame Brody Jenner at Element in LA. (Photos courtesy of celebweb.org)

And to poke further fun at the new additions over in Laguna, I'm borrowing this hilarious clip of Casey ordering a quesaDILLa from her housekeeper, Imelda. Courtesy of tvgasm.com.

The Daily Blabber has me cravin' hot dogs and feelin' good about myself. Why? Apparently, Mischa Barton isn't as thin-looking as she appears to be, and she loves hot dogs! She's really tall and slim, but not too slim. Healthy slim ... She was with her reported boytoy Cisco Adler, who has this long perm thing going on. Misch and Cisco busted on into the food court -- with us regular folks -- for some preshow grub. Her dinner selection? A Nathan's hotdog. It wasn't a regular 'dog either -- it was like a footlong. It was enormous. I think she was a little embarrassed because as she carried it -- in my direction -- she was remarking how big it was and how if she broke it in half and ate only part of it she would still be full ... apparently something Mischa was looking for at condiment bar wasn't there. Relish? Mustard? Who knows. So she started griping, "This place is so disorganized." Then she turned to Cisco and said, "Come on. Let's go" and she sauntered off. Yummmm.

Lindsay Lohan is briefing us on her "Confessions of a Broken Heart" video concept, in case we don't get it when it actually comes out: "A lot of people go through family issues, abuse and that kind of thing. I think it's important to show that other people go through it ... people have so many opinions of me. I wanted to show my vision of how everything has taken place and the truth of what happened. I can do that through directing this video ... I cried as I watched. Watching my sister in the scenes, I cried. When we filmed the argument between the parents that made me cry." Lohan cries?

Yummy in my tummy.

Laguna Beach gossip!

E! is reporting that the third season will focus on the kids of Laguna's first and second seasons as they make their way in Hollywood: Show insiders tell me producers are currently negotiating their individual contracts for season three and have to figure out how to shoot another season, given that their current cast have all graduated and are bed-hopping their way into Us Weekly. I'm told they're toying with the idea of introducing a few new kids that are seniors this year (they're casting now), but ultimately, the show will focus on the current cast, living in Los Angeles, and will pop back into Laguna from time to time. They'll try to focus on the drama that doesn't involve Hollywood or Lindsay or Paris. So, expect a lot of teeth brushing and butt scratching.

And other juicy bits that E! reveals? Stephen and Jason are actually good friends. So much so that Stephen is perfectly fine with the fact that Jason and Stephen's former flame LC have been getting, um, cozy, from time to time ... Word is, one of the cast members actually lives in a trailer park, and most of the cast members live fairly middle-income existences (at least by O.C. standards). That said, LC and Kristin are seriously loaded. So loaded, in fact, that according to my spies, they're somewhat competitive--when LC's family built that humongous house overlooking the Pacific, Kristin's family felt the need to follow suit.

Word is that Jason and LC have been dating for some time now, although pictures of them being affectionate toward one another are yet to be seen.

But contrary to what E! has been reporting, a Laguna Beach resident has come out and refuted the facts and attempted to set things straight. She claims that most of the storylines are completely fabricated, including the Jason and Alex M. relationship ... and as far as she's concerned, Lauren and Stephen have never really hooked up. For more juicy bits, read on at "Oh No They Didn't! .

One Laguna Beach sidekick who has gone under my radar has done something that would create serious blips on my screen. Cedric, the smiley-asks-too-many-questions sidekick to Jason, seems to be making a name for himself. Look 'ere:



(Photos courtesy of tvgasm.com)

Oh, Cedric ...

If anything, Hilary Duff is set up to be the next Jessica Simpson ...
Simpson's planning to open a chain of barbeque restaurants, in addition to her multiple cosmetic lines, clothing lines, television, film and music careers. I don't know about you, but I'm excited ... who wouldn't want Jessica -- who can't distinguish tuna from chicken -- to cook up a meal of cornbread and chili for them?

Not sure this is true, but The Enquirer is reporting that Mischa Barton has been trying to catch Owen Wilson's eye. According to MSN, a "spywitness" saw Mischa, who "finagled the booth next to [Wilson]," "fluttering her eyelids as she propped her elbows on the table and sorta 'squeezed'—showing off her assets!' " The saga continues, "Mischa kept flirting relentlessly. Wilson openly ignored her. Finally she scribbled a note and … Eeeek! … tossed it next to his plate. Visibly annoyed, Wilson told her, 'I'm in the middle of a business dinner!'"

The Girls of Summer

Loads of new Paris Hilton info today.

Paris has finally tired of the paparazzi following her around and taken a stand. Coming to your local park: Paris Hilton disguised as an old woman. According to Softpedia.com, she recently went to her younger brother's soccer games "wearing a gray wig and a prosthetic nose and chin and hobbled around on a cane, according to a Hilton family insider." Hmm. I don't like the sound of that. And not much credibility for a source that spells MK's name "Marie-Kate."

It also went on to say that Hilton's ex-fiance Paris Latsis released a statement on the Paris' broken engagement: "I respect her decision and appreciate the very kind and generous manner in which she is handling her very difficult decision. This was the best experience of my life and I will always be grateful for it". Yeah, what man wouldn't want a night in Paris?

Tara Reid, by some change of heart or perhaps ... for marketing reasons, is now denying that she's close friends with Paris Hilton. She said, "Yes, I hang out with Paris and we're friends. She's a great girl, she's fun ... But we don't arrange to go out; I normally jut see her out and someone says, 'Let me take a photo of you two' ... I don't have her number, she doesn't have mine. Have a look at my phone if you don't believe me." Or maybe it's just a ploy to get someone to hack into her phone and elevate her career to that of Hilton's.


It's official: MTV has announced that the third season of Laguna Beach will begin sometime in 2006. I'm wondering how long the phenomenon will last, and what other dramatic storylines MTV can conjure up. Glad to say I was there before it became "epic," as Dieter would say, although I'm not quite so sure that it's a good thing.

Lohan's Worst Week Ever, Paxton's Best Week Yet

Summerland and Darcy's Wild Life's Sara Paxton to become the next Hilary Duff? Insiders sure seem to be setting her up to be ... She has her own "hit tv show" (I've never seen it. Trust me, I've tried and failed many, many times. Boston's Saturday morning television sucks.), will be starring in tween movie Aquamarine, has her own album coming out and is about to release a "Darcy"-based clothing line in the same fashion Hilary Duff first introduced her clothing line through her hit tween show character Lizzie McGuire. I personally don't think she'll make it -- she's not innocent enough looking (what with having played that crazy freak on Summerland), she's getting too old to be a tween queen, and most people haven't heard of her, unless they were forced into watching Sleepover while babysitting. Or maybe I'm just old. What is refreshing about her, however, is that she's -- ahem -- real. 'Cause she's got a MySpace.
(Photo courtesy of Sara Paxton's MySpace)

Lindsay Lohan isn't having a good week, is she? Good ole trusty Newsday, version "Long Island" is bringing the best of Long Island to us, which means that Lohan's featured in it. Her uncle was arrested for "attempting to cover up a previous charge of fraud bygetting a witness in that case to lie, officials said yesterday."

Similarly, Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, is singing her praises from his prison cell. New York's Daily News printed: "The lyrics not only brought me to tears, but they tell you what kind of a loving and caring daughter Lindsay truly is," writes the 45-year-old Lohan, serving up to four years for drunken driving, contempt of court and beating his brother-in-law bloody with a shoe. "While I always considered and expressed how truly blessed Lindsay, as well as my other children are, I never realized how blessed I AM to have a daughter as amazing as Lindsay."

It's a good song, Lindsay, but nothing's going to change the fact that:

A. You wrecked your second Mercedes and it's all on tape
B. Your father is still trying to gain publicity by using you
C. Your family's dysfunctional
D. You're starting to gain weight and people are going to rag on you for it
E. You're from Long Island
F. I still don't like you

OK! Magazine owns Hollywood

So rumors are going around that the reason Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey continue to deny divorce claims made by Us Weekly is because they're contractually obligated to OK! Magazine. Meaning: until OK! gets its act together and reports the damn news, there may never be any closure.

Similarly, OK! Magazine has rights to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's wedding photos. You'll have to wait until October 13th until the issue hits newsstands.

And lastly, I finally found the weird photo of Laguna Beach's Stephen Colletti and Dieter Schmitz hanging with other Z-list reality stars, such as Trishelle (who needs no introduction, as she's been in so many bad reality shows):



Not sure where the photo was first found, so ... if it's yours and credit need be paid, leave me a comment.

That is all for now, folks.

Delayed reaction.

... But you can thank Blogger for that, what with it being down so close to my bedtime last night. So, onwards and upwards.

BIG news. For real, this time.

TomKat is pregnant. For some reason, the thought of Katie Holmes being pregnant -- particularly before marriage -- is distasteful to me. She's innocent little Joey Potter, who saved it for love (although she tried to give it up to Dawson out of pure desperation)!

More photos of Lindsay Lohan before, during and after the crash at "Oh No They Didn't!". Looks like a vicious crash, actually. Her wheels, rubber completely burned/torn off. I seriously think she needs to learn how to drive all over again. She's a hazard to society!

Why the need for a stretcher?

"Someone, please revoke Lohan's license," Part II.

There is now video. And pictures. The paparazzi are evil, man.

The poor driver of the red van being taken away

Lindsay Lohan being taken away from the antique store she took shelter in after the crash, with a fashionable towel over her head

And photos of the aftermath.

(All courtesy of "Oh No They Didn't!")

Man, what are the police searching for in L. Lo's trunk, evidence that she's been driving high? (Though, apparently, Lindsay and her friend ran back to the car after realizing that they had forgotten a few items in the bent-up Mercedes.)

Someone, please revoke Lohan's license!

BIG NEWS, or not ... Speculation of a rocky relationship between America's favorite newlyweds Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson has come to a climax: once again, sources are reporting that they are on the verge of making a big announcement. Call me a skeptic, but I remember when "sources" were reporting that they were on the verge of making a big announcement earlier this year. But I guess this time it might be for real -- we have Us Weekly's blessings:


(Photo courtesy of Gawker)

Someone took the words out of my mouth when they said that the big announcement would either be that they're dunzo or that they're finally pregnant. And unless Jessica's carrying Johnny Knoxville's baby, I don't think it's the latter. Well, Jessica's been seen around town without her wedding ring, and Nick never showed up to Ashlee's twenty-first birthday. Even with the added temptation of half-naked girls. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

There's tons to report on in the deluded world of Lindsay Lohan. According to PerezHilton.com, Lohan got into her second major car accident of the year. This time, the nineteen-year-old star could not blame the paparazzi.

It started out innocently enough: a sunny Tuesday afternoon in Beverly Hills. Lohan had been spotted eating at Robertson Blvd's celebrity favorite, The Ivy. Then, "Out of nowhere, this car comes racing down Robertson Blvd. The car must have been going about 60-70 mph." Another seemingly amused bystander said, "Lindsay was driving like a maniac and she hit a [red] van that was being driven by an employee of the Newsroom Cafe ... It was a head-on collision." Los Angeles' Robertson Blvd, infamous for being the celebrity go-to block for shopping, is equally infamous for being a paparazzi hangout. So you can imagine the glee felt among the paparazzi when -- lo and behold -- L. Lo gets into a major car accident within zoom's reach. Too bad the only photos we have are from above. You'd think that some sort of catastrophe had occurred, but fortunately, no one was seriously injured.
(Photo courtesy of PerezHilton.com)

And more non-big news on Lohan ... she basically treated people like crap this past weekend at Wyclef Jean's Yeli Foundation benefit in Chicago, according to Page Six. She requested and un-requested a charter flight several times, costing the foundation a pretty penny it shouldn't have been spending on someone who wasn't a Haitian child, and she refused to "mingle" with other celebs and the press -- save for Jeremy Piven, at whom she hollered, "Oooo, I can't stand to look at that!" when he took off his shirt to reveal "a flabby upper body."

And funny quote of the day ... from one of my favorite sites, Overheardinnewyork.com. A generous NYU student shared an enlightening conversation between Gallatin sophomore (or is she, with all the time she's been spending in LA?) Ashley Olsen and the poor Psychology TA whose presence she graced:
TA guy: There are different types of pains, some of which go all the way to the brain and others that only go to the spinal cord.
Ashley Olsen: So do, like, emotional pains go to the brain?
--NYU Psychology building, Washington Place

My muesli has gone stale ...

Yes, that's how exciting today's news is.

Here are your top stories ...

Ashlee Simpson will bravely face network television when she performs on Saturday Night Live this coming weekend. Good for her!

Funny exerpt of a Laguna Beach review from several episode ago. Casey annoys me to no end. There seems to be nothing redeeming about her ...
Unfortunately, her adorable housekeeper Imelda was nowhere in sight, which meant a big nada for the fire-roasted quesadillas, or Casey-dillas as I like to call them.
- "B-side" of TVgasm.

Calling all Lil' Kim fans! You can continue sending fan mail (or attempt to stalk her) to her new address:

Kimberly Jones / 56198-054

FDC PHILADELPHIA

FEDERAL DETENTION CENTER

P.O. BOX 562

PHILADELPHIA, PA 19106

Oh No They Didn't! reports that someone is auctioning off Britney Spears' dirty ole flip-flops. Yes, the ones she slipped on following her visits to the gas station bathrooms. You can probably find some Cheetos crumbs buried deep in that foam somewhere too. If you're feeling extra generous, you can also bid on her bra.

And in a bit of an accident, I stumbled upon the greatest underground network of Z-listed teen celebrities since World War II ... up-and-coming celebrity-daughter models, Summerland stars, Samaire Armstrong, Disney stars, All That cast members ... ex-boyfriends of people who used to matter ... kids made famous by being Hilary Duff and/or Lindsay Lohan's friends at the height of their popularity ... it's sad how much each and every one of them seems to be searching for teenage normalcy in the form of MySpace. Also sad, however, is that friends of celebrities who are young and full of potential seem to be wasting their youth (and their parents' money) away partying, drinking and sharing pictures of nights forgotten with one another on MySpace.

Movin' on

Happy 21st birthday to Ashlee Simpson! God, I don't want to hear about how drunk she gets tonight ...

Paris Hilton is speaking out (again) about her broken engagement to Paris Latsis: "I feel I'm just not ready for marriage ... I have seen the breakups between people who love each other and rush into getting married too quickly and I do not want to make that mistake ... I'm still young and have a very active career that I'm not prepared to give up. I've worked very hard to get to where I am. Paris is a great guy and we will handle this with dignity and respect ... I love Paris. He is my best friend and it will be that way forever. This man treated me as no man ever has. We will also be business partners and have movies in the works."

I wonder what's in it for her -- she's never seemed to be one to take a blow quietly ...

A motivational speaker from Mississippi who housed Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for The Simple Life distinguished the two by saying: "They were fun. Paris is very laid back. Nicole is more on the edge: I kept threatening to tape her mouth shut, though. I thought, 'My sweet mother in Mississippi is not going to be able to take this.'" And here I thought Paris was just dumb.

Fantasia Barrino of American Idol told 20/20 that she's "functionally illiterate" while promoting her memoir. Anyone find that a tad ironic? She said, "You're illiterate to just about everything. You don't want to misspell ... So that, for me, kept me in a box and I didn't, wouldn't come out." She told 20/20 that the worst part was not being able to read to her four-year-old daughter, but is now working with tutors.

And Michelle Williams (probably best known for her work as "Jen" on Dawson's Creek) is about to pop Heath Ledger's baby out. Any day now. NY Post's Page Six revealed that they've moved into a $2 million brownstone in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn. I don't really care, but I thought Michelle looked good ... she's got that glow:


(Photo courtesy of Page Six and, obviously, WireImage)

Slow Sunday

For those sadistic beings who are interested, here's a video of Kate Moss gettin' her coke on.

From The Bosh, more bad news for Jude Law, although none of its new. According to sources close to British Supermodel Kate Moss , rumors have been circulating London fashion circles for years that her two-year-old daughter, Lila Grace's true father is not ex-boyfriend, Jefferson Hack editor of British magazine Dazed & Confused and Another - but Jude Law reports Radar Magazine.
"Sadie [Frost, Jude's ex] and Kate are best, best friends, and Jude and Sadie were huge into couples swapping and orgies," says a friend of the former couple. "They had group sex where absolutely everything was okay."

Here's a picture that confuses me, but it exists, so I thought I'd share. It looks like it was taken around the time of the MTV Video Music Awards, unless Katie Cassidy likes recycling her red carpet outfits. Seems like Laguna's Talan Torriero is taking whatever he can get -- even if it is Jesse McCartney & Company.



And I found some pictures of Mandy Moore wearing a gold-and-diamond ring on her ring finger at a Ralph Lauren event several days ago, but that's not very interesting.

Funny story of the day ... NOT a good year for Paris Hilton:
Page Six reports that Paris Hilton has been known to jump the line when she needs the ladies' room. But high-stepping Hiltie decided to wait her turn last weekend in Las Vegas during the opening celebration of Tao at the Venetian, and it was a bad idea. Several witnesses report her "not being able to wait in line for the bathroom," and Michael Politz of the Eye on Vegas blog reports that "cleaning crews were quietly brought in" when her bladder couldn't hold out long enough. Hilton was escorted to her room soon after. Hilton, who announced last week that she had broken off a five-month engagement with Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, has been seen cuddling with her record producer, Scott Storch. Her mom, Kathy Hilton, is trying to cover all bases, now telling people that Latsis was not good enough for her daughter because he did not work, even though he was enrolled in film school. Mm-hmm. Poor girl ...

Laguna talk consumes me whole.

Funny that I've been saving this quote for today, because news broke that the Paris-Paris engagement is off. Rumors have been flying around for weeks, if not months, now that Paris Latsis' parents were not thrilled with his taste, and even Kathy and Rick Hilton were overheard talking about how they didn't think Paris Latsis had anything going for himself. This is what Paris Hilton had to say: "I'm sad to announce that I've called off my engagement. Over the last couple months I've realized that this is the right decision for me. We remain best of friends, and I'll always love him. I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time ..." Yeah, right. You'll always love his ass. Okay, so that was a cheap shot. But what can I say -- she was freakin' ready to walk down the aisle with someone whose name was the same as hers!!!

And here was the quote that I was going to post that would've been funny, although it kind of still is ... On the topic of paparazzi, Paris (Hilton) said she was "terrified" of them. She said: "My boyfriend hates it all: he's very low-key and he hates cameras and says the only bad thing about dating me is them."

Yes, the only thing.

More, more, more Laguna Beach news, baby. I don't know how I managed to dish up the goods practically every single day, but there's stuff to dish! So we all know that Jason cheated on Alex M. with Jessica, right? Well -- and I really hate to do this because I think Jessica Smith's a doll, but it really is that juicy -- apparently what really went down was that some of Alex's friends (presumably this Cami chick whose name's been thrown around with the cast's lately) caught Jason and Jessica in Talan's bathroom, someone's mouth to someone's whang. When Alex and Taylor caught wind of this, they rushed to Talan's house, only to be stopped by police on the way. In an e-mail that Pop Sugar received, the dish-er wrote: Instead of playing it cool Taylor throws the fake id she has in her wallet into the back seat. The cops get suspicious and ask her what it was, do a search of the car, find the fake id, interrogate Alex M and get her to admit she has a fake id too. Cuff both of them and take them down to the station where MTV has to bail them out. So in one night Alex M found out that her boyfriend is a cheater and gets arrested.

(By the way, Alex Murrel has posted a demo version of her song "Hello" on her MySpace, and her voice is actually pretty good. So go and check it out if you care to: Alex M.)

The drama does not end when the cameras are turned off. Just as I'd suspected. Screw the fifteen-year-olds who keep asking one other who they think Stephen's going to end up with. Here's a hint, kids: Stephen's life goes on ... he's not dead yet, the "story"'s not over. And he most certainly is not inclined to ending up with either Kristin or Lauren. Especially when he's been hanging out with newly-single Paris Hilton and disease-ridden Trishelle of The Real World: Las Vegas and other unmentionable reality shows:



(Photos courtesy of WireImage.com)



There's another really, really bizarre photo of Stephen and either Dieter or Trey hanging with a bunch of B-list reality tv stars, but I can't seem to find it at the moment ... anyway, rumors have it that there will be a THIRD SEASON of Laguna Beach! Kristin has already said that she will not be back if there is one ... and there has been talk of that Teen Vogue/Lauren "LC" Conrad spin-off, which sounds like a helluva good time to me ... Who knows, though. We'll find out soon enough when the season ends on November 7th.

Lastly, a funny little story about how everyone thought Mandy Moore had checked herself into rehab in Connecticut (of all places!). When Mandy found out, she set the facts straight on her official site: I am so overwhelmed by the absurdity of rumors and how on earth they could possibly get started. It's unbelievable! Earlier this week, I was apprised of a wonderful piece of gossip that I was in rehab... nice! ... I am so saddened that people stretch as far as they do in attempting to spread gossip that, at the end of the day, is just downright hurtful. I know rumors and falsities will continue to exist and it's the world we live in...But c'mon people. If you're gonna spread trash and gossip, there should be a line drawn on issues that you just don't go near!"

We never would've believed that you'd gotten yourself that messed up ... I mean, c'mon. Your boyfriend is Zach Braff.

Hilary Duff, It Girl again?

According to Us Weekly, the rumors are true: Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush split because Murray had cheated on Bush and possibly on a number of occasions.

Usher is putting together a benefit concert, titled "Project Restart," to aid the victims of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. He will headline the tour, and while he hasn't revealed any of the other artists, he has set a date and time: October 9th at Atlanta's Phillips Arena. He is planning to give away free tickets to five thousand hurricane evacuees. Regular concert tickets went on sale today.

Hilary Duff shared some of her eighteenth birthday party memories with MTV:
"I remember thinking when I was such a little girl that 18 was like so old and cool," Hilary Duff reflected Wednesday night. "And now I'm like, it's just normal." Apparently Good Charlotte's Benji Madden, twin brother of Hilary's boyfriend Joel offered her a trip to the tattoo parlor, but as predicted, Hilary turned down the offer. Joel told MTV that the night before Wednesday's bash, he took her out to a really nice restaurant and told her they were going to see The Corpse Bride, but pretended to have lost the tickets. They headed to her house to pick them up, only to find a surprise cake, balloons and presents. Ever the teenager, Duff said that "I've never had a birthday this cool before."

Hilary is also working with Elizabeth Arden to develop a perfume line like so many stars have before her. "I love wearing a beautiful fragrance and don't feel completely dressed without one," Hilary said. "I love to layer my fragrances with perfumes, body gels and dusting powders. I am looking forward to working with Elizabeth Arden's fragrance team to create a product line that is fresh and innovative. A fragrance that everyone will enjoy wearing, including me." The perfume is set to debut in North America next fall.

Hilary can also be seen on the "front pages" of online shopping boutique Shop Bop. I wonder how much she's getting for all of this ...

Funny story of the day: Ryan Cabrera called Talan Torriero of Laguna Beach on behalf of New York City radio station Z100 for its Celebrity Crank Calls segment. Ryan convinced Talan to pose nude for Playgirl magazine. When "the editor-in-chief of Playgirl" asked Talan to bring the idea to Stephen Colletti, also of Laguna Beach, Talan said, "Yeah I can try my best. He's kinda like over the whole like, you know what I mean, like he doesn't want anything to do with Hollywood. I can try my best though, for sure." When the editor pushed on, "Half a million dollars may influence him, don't you think?" Talan responded with, "Yeah, that's what I figured too. Holy shit." Hmm ... and here I thought Stephen wanted to become an actor! Listen here.

... we lose another hot piece of meat to Angelina.

I don't know what I saw (was it the cover of the newest TV Guide?), but something made me think of Prison Break's Wentworth Miller. And how hot he is. And how we haven't given him the time of day up until now. So I head my little hinnie over to IMDB and find out that -- gasp -- he's thirty-three, a natural-born Brit and went to Princeton. If he weren't too old for me, I'd be flapping my wings in the sky with love now. An English major, how romantic ... and he was raised in Brooklyn! Represent.

Moving on ... Ryan Gosling. I don't think I'll ever forget what reminded me of him, no no no no no. He's on the cover of V Man and lookin' "too damn fine." Inside, he talks about his progression as an actor and his enchantment with Angelina Jolie: I went to the premiere for Hotel Rwanda. Angelina Jolie was there, and she gave this speech about Darfur. At the after-party I went up to her and asked her to educate me. She asked me if I wanted to go. I would have said yes to anything she said – I was kind of hypnotized. Two weeks later I got this call to get some vaccines because I was going to Africa. So I went and shot a little piece of a documentary for her. She sent different teams to different places all over the world., and we all filmed three minutes at exactly the same time wherever we were. At least she's using her powers for good, not evil.

Gosling just wrapped on a movie entitled Half Nelson, which is based on a Sundance award-winning short, "Gowanus, Brooklyn." He plays an eighth-grade teacher who forms "an unlikely friendship" with his student. Damn. I was just working on a script that would've eventually starred Gosling as the teacher and me as the student ...

More Laguna Beach news for you fans: the season has been extended by another week! The season finale -- as it stands -- will air on November 7th.


(Photo courtesy of "Oh No They Didn't!", who probably got it from lime-light.org)

Lindsay Lohan sported a very interesting symbol on her foot on the set of her new music video. "Oh No They Didn't!" reports that the symbol is actually one that Jared Leto uses to sign autographs with, as evidenced by the author's signed 30 Seconds to Mars CD. Hmm ...

"Oh No They Didn't!" also speculated upon Alicia Silverstone's belly, and whether she's pregnant or just growing a cute little pooch.

Funny story of the day: New York's Daily News tells us that at the Teen Vogue party last Tuesday, "Paris [Hilton] wanted Wilmer [Valderrama] to move so she could have his table, but he wouldn't," says a spy at the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel.
Apparently Paris and her buddy Kimberly Stewart had been enjoying a few cocktails.
"Finally, ['Phantom of the Opera' star] Emmy Rossum gave up her table, saying: 'If Paris doesn't sit down soon she's going to fall into the pool.'"

Another teen idol grows up.

It's Hilary Duff's 18th birthday. A couple years ago, it was all some guys could hope for. It's hard to believe that little Hilary's eighteen now ... But since then, the most unfortunate thing has happened -- Hilary has turned into a horse.



On a completely unrelated note (aka a slow day in the Pop World), I have discovered a delectable new delight. I've always been a little obsessed with Turkish Delight (ever since my mom read me that bedtime story about the prince or king who had it created for his queen), but have been a little more than turned off by it since buying a chunk of the overly-hard and sweet stuff at Dylan's Candy Bar. I ventured to try it again when I spotted Cadbury's Dairy Milk Turkish at grocery stores here in England.

Yum.

It wasn't overly rose-flavored like the kind I'd gotten at Dylan's. It tasted more like raspberry jelly rolls, the kind covered in a thin layer of chocolate. Really tasty -- and the best part is after the chocolate melts, you can chew on the Turkish delight. So wonderfully delicious.

Right up there next to Kinder Bueno, another non-American brand of chocolate ...

P.S. Let me know if any of you stumble across that children's bedtime story. I think it was titled "Turkish Delight."

The innocence of fall ...

Citysearch.com just put its Top 10 Things To Do in NYC in Fall list up, but it's far too artsy and expensive for a pop culture-obsessed college kid like me. So here's mine, coming from a true lazy-assed New Yorker:

1. Take a walk through Central Park
The Dana Discovery Center (as well as other centers within the park) offers a host of events and activities every fall, including the "Manhattan Adirondacks" Tour, Halloween Parade and Pumpkin Sail, and the famous Halloween Ball to which B-list celebrities often show up. Not willing to shell out the $1000? Take a walk up to Belvedere Castle just as the sun begins to set and make your way to the lower edge of the park -- my favorite street in New York -- and admire the juxtaposition of nature and commercialism. Those pretty, pretty lights! (And if you have some change to spare, take a ride on a horse-drawn carriage. But don't say I didn't warn you about the smell.)

2. Window shop at Macy's Herald Square
There's something very romantic about doing this, particularly once the Christmas decorations go up. This should be at a time when your breath begins to show when you speak, and finding refuge in a warm and bright shelter such as Macy's is heaven.

3. Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade
From the comfort of your own home. There's nothing like watching celebrities bundled up and lip-synching to their own songs on JELLO floats while smelling the sweet smells of pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes and turkey roasting.

4. Village Halloween Parade
http://www.halloween-nyc.com/
NYC has parades of various sizes marching through lower Manhattan every couple of days (or so it seems), but this one's a wonderful opportunity to see the crazies at the height of their lunacy. And it may even spark an idea or two for next year's Halloween costume.

5. Walk along Madison Avenue
Okay, so I'm a bit of an Upper East Side girl seeing as I spent a good six years of my life there. Come fall, the city (or is it just the store owners?) places "fairy lights" in the trees and often other sorts of decorations as well. This summer, for example, a friend and I spotted foam oranges. Save this for when it gets cold, and take shelter in one of the many fabulous shops and cafes along the way.

6. Have a Gilmore Girls Season One marathon
That's fall for you, wrapped up in a nice neat six-CD boxed set. New England at its finest.

7. Go apple picking in Upstate New York.
Colorful fall foliage is the quintessence of New York State, isn't it? This is a comprehensive site of where to go and when to go. Make a trip out of it and pick some apples or pumpkins while you're at it. This site offers a hearty listing of fall activities.

8. Take part in NaNoWriMo
http://www.nanowrimo.org
Another little event for nerds like me ... see whether you can write a coherent 40,000 word story/novel/novella in a month. I don't think I'll ever be able to do it so long as I'm sitting here writing this crap ...

9. Have dinner in an open-air restaurant/cafe in the Village
Do it while you still can. It's not summer anymore, so you don't have to worry about the tourists or long lines. It's quaint and beautiful at night, especially if you're with that special someone ... Or you can have dinner at Tavern on The Green if your daddy or significant other's loaded. Order the red velvet cake. I dunno ... it looked good on The Newlyweds ...

10. Visit The Met
http://www.metmuseum.org/
The Metropolitan Museum of Art (The Met) is spectacular year round, but something about late fall makes museum-going that much more enticing. The more interesting exhibits are usually unveiled in late Spring, but take advantage of the short lines now ... and avoid those poor not-art but Hunter College High School students who rush to get their drawings done in time for Winter Break. The Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) is also good -- not as grand, but equally stimulating, especially since it's located in a very commercial area.

Hollywood's got my back.

Just when I was going to report a flaccid day in the world of celebrity gossip, I stumbled upon some little-known (perhaps) but juicy bits! Hollywood never lets me down.

Mr. Tristan duGrey, better known as Lucas of One Tree Hill, still better known as Chad Michael Murray and OTH co-star Sophia Bush have split after just five months. Though coming off the tails of many other less-juicy Hollywood splits (Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, Jamie Lynn Sigler and AJ DiScala, Tori Spelling and the poor man who agreed to marry her and Kathy Griffin and another poor man), Murray and Bush's split is no less shocking. The two released separate statements:

"I am saddened to announce that Sophia and I are separating. This is a very difficult time for me." - Chad Michael Murray

"This is a difficult and unfortunate situation. I am glad this is being resolved sooner rather than later." - Sophia Bush

Good luck to the two of them and their co-stars on One Tree Hill who must deal with them!

Jossip.com's reporting that the Kutcher-Moore wedding may have been another prank to promote the new season of Punk'd. I remain skeptical, but you never do know with that Ashton kid ...


(Photo courtesy of JJB)

Lindsay Lohan returned home with ex-flame Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend. Apparently, they met up at Club X and she didn't surface until the next morning.

And my favorite but cruelest bit for the day ... Good Charlotte's Benji Madden rips Kelly Clarkson apart, following twin brother Joel's not-so-nice comments earlier this month. He wrote on Good Charlotte's official site: "My mom told me if I didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. So I won't say 'Amercian Idol' sux, but it does make me laugh when someone like Kelly Clarkson disses someone like Hilary Duff, cause let's not forget it, Kelly (BTW-Kanye West thinks you have a nice ass, I saw him look at it one time) (me, I prefer the more fit look) anyways - you were a 'contestant' on a TV show. Hilary made herself. Ok ok I am a little partial to Hilary becasue I know what a great person she is and how talented she is first hand. Its all good I just think it is funny how us little humans lose perspective."

As much as I love Hilary Duff, she doesn't stand a comparison to Kelly Clarkson in terms of talent. But that's not really what Benji's talking about here. I guess he's right, but let's not forget that Hilary's blonde and was (and is) selling to a far less tough crowd.

'Till tomorrow ...

P.S. Who knew Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams were dating?! When questioned about it, he said: "It's not serious. That's all I'm going to say." That's really all we needed to hear. Geez, a couple of months off the internet and I miss out!

Hollywood girls are mean!

Allegations of Paris Hilton offering teenagers drugs and alcohol have been dropped, according to Baltimore City police. Apparently one of the teens told the police that "She loaded myself and two other underage kids on shots of Jack Daniels to loosen us up for the show." Hilton's people (in this case the people behind The Simple Life) countered with a weak "Paris would never endanger the welfare of a minor."

What about innocent onlookers? Hilton was pulled over by police late last week for "making an improper turn" and "equipment violation" in her Bentley on Beverly Hills' Rodeo Drive. Witnesses say that she tried to blame the paparazzi, but was issued a ticket anyway.

Lindsay Lohan, who is now admitting that she did look too thin earlier this year, insists that it wasn't because she had an eating disorder. A somewhat unreliable source tells us she touted: "I lost weight because I'm 19 years old and only went through puberty a year ago. I haven't been on a crash diet. Give me a break!" Puberty? Just a year ago? Hahahahahahahahahaha ... Give me a break!

And according to Star magazine, "Lindsay has gained over 11 pounds in about 3 months by eating protein rich food meals and staying away from unhealthy junk food. Her trainer revealed, 'Lindsay is on her way and is now putting on lead body mass rather than fat'."


Mischa Barton's been spotted around Los Angeles with her new man Cisco Adler, Kimberly Stewart's ex-fiance. Stewart was none too happy when she found out and called Barton to tell her just that. A source close to Stewart told Radar Magazine that "Kimberly is finally over Cisco, but she was furious that a friend of hers would date her ex ...She called up Mischa and gave her an earful. She said Cisco was totally gross and that after all the nasty stuff Kimberly had told her about him she should know better than to date such a douchebag ..."

Heehee. S/he said "douchebag."

And for the story of the day: Christina Aguilera sent Britney Spears and Sean Preston Federline a little somethin' somethin' -- a weight loss care package. The package included a diet handbook and, of all things, a corset. Aguilera tells Daily Star, "I'm thrilled and overjoyed for her and wish her all the best. Hope she likes her gift."



(All photos courtesy of CelebWeb.org)

Not surprising.

From Us Weekly:
Us Weekly is the first news outlet in the world to report that Demi Moore, 42, and Ashton Kutcher, 27, got married Saturday night at a Beverly Hills home in a ceremony in front of more than 100 of their closest friends and family, according to several sources close to the couple. ''It was very last minute,'' one guest told Us. Kutcher's publicist declined to confirm the nuptials, and when asked to confirm the wedding, Moore's publicist Stephen Huvane simply declined comment to Us.

Standing before a crowd that included Bruce Willis, actress Lucy Liu, Moore's three daughters and their closest family and friends, the couple, followers of the ancient spiritual practice of Kabbalah, exchanged vows in a brief but traditional ceremony. ''Most everyone was dressed formally,'' a source at the wedding told Us.

It is the third marriage for Moore, who separated from her second husband, actor Bruce Willis, in 1998 (she was married to musician Freddie Moore for four years in the early 1980s). It is the first walk down the aisle for Kutcher, producer and star of the MTV reality show "Punk'd" and former star of Fox's "That '70s Show," who dated actress Brittany Murphy before he began dating the veteran film actress Moore in early 2003.

Yup.

Celebs gone postal!

Jennifer Aniston's dating that hottie from Seventh Heaven, Geoff Stults. Stults plays Aniston's boyfriend in The Break-Up. Kind of ironic, isn't it?

More Talan Torriero news for you. According to Laguna Beach co-star Kristin Cavallari, yes, he and Lindsay Lohan did date. In fact, Lohan had a cow when she walked in on the two laying in bed -- platonically -- together. She told Rolling Stone magazine that "... Lindsay comes in and freaks out! She starts crying, going 'aaargh!' and slams a glass on the table. I was like, 'Are you kidding me right now?' Talan had to tell her to leave." Rolling Stone has to make note that "Lohan's publicist denies this event ever occurred."

... but that's not what I came here to tell you about! No, no, no! MTV News tells us that Talan has signed with "a really big label push" and has dyed his hair dark to prep for his "Mars Volta kind of" music. Apparently, he's already worked with Akon -- "Music is pushing boundaries, and I figure I'd better do my part. I'd like to get a rapper on a rock song or something crazy like that." We'll see 'bout that, Boy-With-The-Pretty-Face-And-A-High-Voice.

P.S. The season finale is said to be October 24th, so start gathering tissues now. It probably won't be coming back for a third season, but it may spawn a few reality babies ...

Okay, I read that Nick and Aaron Carter were out drinking at Concorde in Los Angeles, "bonding." Aaron's only seventeen, but hey, I'm not surprised. What did surprise me was the female at Nick's side -- 35-year-old BAI LING!!! Please please please tell me they're not dating. Yeah, Nick, go and date the oldest ugly, dirty Asian celebrity ever. Couldn't you have made a long stop at Lucy Liu? I mean, just look at her ...


(Photo Courtesy of Yahoo!)

... she's just an old, Asian, uncute, MALE version of Paris Hilton (or Anna Wintour, although I can't see the resemblance between Paris and Anna)!!! Why not just date a drag queen?

Although I have to say, if Nick ends up having Eurasian babies, I think I'll have a hernia. Because they could've been mine.

*** End Of Rant ***

Hello World

I am back and reporting from the other side of the Atlantic, where things aren't as plentiful nor are they as technologically advanced. Complaints aside, let's get to the good part ...

I'm sure you've all heard about the big Kate Moss scandal by now. But were any of us really surprised? I assumed the heroine chic look constituted in snorting cocaine. Or just plain being a high-fashion model. Big news.

Apparently, audience members at the final performance of As You Like It at London's Wyndham Theatre turned around and began booing and throwing things at Jude Law, who was there to cheer Sienna Miller on. He promptly took haven backstage. Ms. Megan Elizabeth Mitchell said it best and most Britishly, "That's brilliant."

Okay ... catching up on some of the juicy Laguna Beach bits ... is Talan Torriero dating Brittany Snow? Do we really care? For those of you who do ... here's a nice graphic you've probably already discovered:


(Photo clearly courtesy of WireImage.com. I really wish people would learn to spell her last name correctly -- it's Cavallari!)

I'm starting to get confused myself ... I think I'm mixing Kaley Cuoco and Brittany Snow up, but one (or both?) of them dated Kevin Zegers a few years back, and Brittany also dated that cocky kid from that Survivor-esque reality show on what used to be FOX Family ... and Talan! Talan's dated quite a few girls in his day, hasn't he? Speaking of Kristin, looks like she's dating Brody Jenner of canceled-after-two-episodes The Princes of Malibu fame. Good riddance!

A little bit o' uh uh ...

Stopping by with gossip I know you're dying to hear: dirt on the "Laguna Beach" kids.

According to "The Insider," cast members of the reality show were escorted out of "at least two parties in Miami, including Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's post-awards party at the Delanio" because "they were wasted and puking."

Lauren Conrad, or "LC," star and narrator of the first season of "Laguna Beach" has nabbed an internship with Conde Nast's Teen Vogue, and MTV is thinking of creating a spinoff of a good thing: cameras have supposedly been following Lauren around on the job, meaning celebrity photo shoots, coffee runs, photocopying. Sources have offered unclear info as to where this footage will go: to "Laguna Beach" or a possible one-woman show. If it were up to me, I'd save the juicy stuff for LB ... Lauren's personality isn't quite strong enough to carry a show alone, and really, the only reason we still care is because Stephen's just oh-so-cute.

Other tidbits and rumors ...

Alex Murrel, probably better known as "boyfriend stealer" to "Laguna" fans, has been working on a record or demo.

Apparently, Jason and Jessica, after having broken it off in Episode 6, hooked up in Cabo San Lucas on what was probably one drunken night, because Jessica ended up going to Prom with Jeff Boyle, Alex H.'s date to Winter Formal.

And last I reported on Laguna cutie Talan Torriero, I told you that he'd left school for Los Angeles (and Lindsay Lohan). Well apparently, he's being represented by none other than Jessica and Ashlee's father, Papa Joe Simpson. That would explain all the photos of Ryan Cabrera and Talan circulating on the internet!

"Uh-oh" is the first thing that comes to mind ...

While Delta Goodrem is in the United States launching her single "Lost Without You," her boyfriend Brian McFadden (formerly of Irish boyband Westlife fame) is chatting up ... Nick Carter, currently of American boyband Backstreet Boys, being one of Paris Hilton's many boy toys and DUI fame. McFadden, who has been in the papers for leaving ex-wife Kerry Katona, seems to need a little help creating "a rockier sound," and thought Nick would do the job best. McFadden heard Tommy Lee sing Carter's praises after he and Nick collaborated on his current album. Nick and Brian plan to team up while the Backstreet Boys tour the UK this coming fall. This may just lead to the Delta Goodrem and Nick Carter unity I've been dreaming of ... although I must say, Nick isn't quite good enough for Delta.

Hurricane Katrina. How are celebs helping out?
Everyone from Morgan Freeman to Patricia Clarkson are taking part in benefit concerts and auctions to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Hilary Duff is donating $200,000 to the American Red Cross and another $50,000 to USA Harvest. What's Britney doing? Praying.
"My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida and any other states that might be affected by Hurricane Katrina," she posted on her official site. "All of my family members there are safe and thank you to all my fans for your concern. Love, Britney." Hmm ... not even a summon for others to pray for the victims? I guess she really is broke.

... and then there's Jane Carter, mother of the famous Carter boys, Nick and Aaron. What crazy thing is she up to now? She published a letter to Aaron in The National Enquirer warning him of his father Bob's "real" motives: wanting a part of the $4 million that Aaron will gain access to once he turns 18 this December:
"Dearest Son," she wrote, "I have always been truthful with you and will continue to be so. Aaron, I know the private jet rides can be thrilling. What is not a thrill is the day you get the bill for them all when you turn 18! ... Don't allow your father full custody [of Aaron and his twin sister Angel] ... why at this point? It's because they all have their eyes on the $4 million trust fund I managed to sock away for you. Kiddo, that is yours! You earned it and you worked hard for it ... Take care of yourself. I love you very much. Mom."

Mm-hmm. And I love him very much too. Does that mean I get a bit of his $4 million? And I also like how she addressed him as "Son." Maybe she's thinking of recycling the letter and sending Nick a copy, so she can squeeze a few million out of him, too.

Juicy juicy juicy ...

First off ... I'd like to say: What the hell was I thinking when I decided to sit down and watch the MTV Video Music Awards last night!? I regret having wasted three-and-a-half hours of my life, and I want them back. It was dry, dry, dry despite a soaking-wet Kelly Clarkson finale, isolated pockets of rain throughout the arena, and cute little water tunnels through which all members of Green Day should've walked through the gazillion times they had to go up there to accept awards.

Perhaps it is an unwavering loyalty I feel towards MTV and its almost always overhyped awards show that drew me back last night ... or perhaps it was a sinister wish to see Lindsay Lohan in an uncompromising situation. Either way, I lost out. Although last night, Lohan certainly looked healthier in the cheeks, if not in the chest-area ... and MTV has certainly fueled temporary crushes on dark, eyelinered lead singers Billie Joe, Brandon (Flowers, for those who don't like The Killers or aren't fifteen anymore) and an uncanny attraction to the creepy lead singer of My Chemical Romance, whose name I never want to learn.

... and for more catty, high school-y news.

Maria Sharapova and Adam Levine!? Sharapova didn't deny it when New York's Daily News poked and prodded her about it. "Right now I'm known to be dating three guys ... So I guess I'm just a cheater. What can I say?" I think she's already said too much.

Bai Ling and Nick Carter!? All I can say to that is ew, ew, ew. If you thought Paris Hilton was dirty, you were wrong. This sometimes-bald Chinese "actress" (more like socialite-turned-wannabe-actress ... what was she actually in!?) has been hitting on poor Nicky and the two were spotted exchanging numbers, according to The New York Post. If Nick wants to go Asian, he can come my way ... no need to deal with butchy bald brats!

Mandy Moore and Hugh Grant!? Just kidding. Apparently they worked together recently on a film titled American Dreamz, and Mandy has developed a crush on her co-star. What took you so long, Mandy!? I've had a crush on him since I was thirteen and he was ... well, old enough to be my father.

A friend and I spotted Ashlee Simpson and her pals lunching outdoors at an eatery in West Village the day after she appeared on TRL. Nothing scandalous to report there ... unless you think deviating from her new style (aka Jessica's) is a scandal. She was sporting her trademark Converses, bug-eyed sunglasses and a gray newsboy cap.

So long sweet summer ...

I am back with a vengeance. I guess you could call the sparse-ness of this past summer an extended summer vacation. Although what I was truly doing was working my ass off at MTV and schmoozing for the latest celebrity gossip.

I do have some insider info for you, but I'm going to have to be tactful about it. Last Saturday night, after the Teen People Young Hollywood party in Los Angeles, Mischa Barton and her seventeen-year-old sister Hania were spotted being rolled -- in wheelchairs -- through the lobby of the Four Seasons, drop-dead-drunk.

Also, a young singer/actress whom you may not suspect has been around town snorting cocaine with extras. It may explain why she's been looking somewhat gaunt lately and has seemed to "lose her baby fat." I like her and really would like to refuse to believe it, but ... she's lookin' pretty skinny these days.

That's the juiciest stuff I've got to share with you from my experiences this past summer, but there's more to come. Like the fact that there is NO secret to The Click Five's perfectly straight hair. Eric, Joey, Joe, Ben and Ethan just wake up and roll out of bed like that. Please, Eric.