Class of 2007, The Playlist

My posts have mostly been making me sound like I have a stick up my ass, so today’s entry is just lighthearted nonsense. Imeem.com has been publishing celebrities’ favorite songs of 2007. I’m no celebrity, but here are some songs that I think defined 2007:


[Photo courtesy of bethelwholesale.com]

10. “Umbrella”, Rihanna
Okay, no one actually likes this song but it’s become some sort of pop culture phenomenon, with everyone from Mandy Moore and Dashboard Confessional covering it. It even launched Marié Digby’s career. I still don’t know what the big deal is, but if any song were to win the Class of 2007 award, it’s actually my personal number ten, “Umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh)”.

Superlative: Most likely to spawn a hike in umbrella-shaped earrings sales

9. “Give It To Me”, Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado
The Club Song. The Song Whose Name I Never Remember but The Song I Will Never Forget.

Superlative: Most likely to make petite Asian girls think they’ve got street cred.

8. “Say It Right”, Nelly Furtado
There’s no explaining this one. It’s just like the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way.” It makes little sense, but it’s addictive.

Superlative: Most likely to provoke girl-on-girl dancing. Or maybe it’s just because I went to a women’s college.

7. “This Is Why I’m Hot”, MIMS
No one can deny the brilliance of this song and the ingenuity of its lyrics: “I’m hot ‘cause I’m fly, you ain’t ‘cause you not. This is why, this is why, this is why I’m hot.”

Superlative: Sexiest opening bars, if you can call that pulsing beat music.

6. “Don’t Matter”, Akon
Romantic, yes, but secretly the most LGBT-sympathetic song of the year. I mean … “how much of a queen you are to me”? Come on.

Superlative: Most difficult song to dance to at the club when flyin’ solo

5. “Here In Your Arms”, Hellogoodbye
For the head-bopping, arm-raising white boy in all of us.

Superlative: Most WASPy song lyric (“Hello, I miss you quite terribly”)

4. “The Sweet Escape”, Gwen Stefani ft. Akon
It took me two months of dancing to this two times a week to figure out what she was saying about the refrigerator. And when I did, it was euphoric.

Superlative: Most likely to prompt ridiculous dancing. And possibly a “Sweet Escape” Dance.

3. “Buy U A Drank”, T-Pain
Nothing screams early summer angst like the oohing and aahing of T-Pain.

Superlative: Best song to proclaim love of a member of the same sex to. Because you’d get bitch slapped any other way.

2. “Glamorous”, Fergie
Any song that introduces ghetto vocabulary into the American mainstream while still teaching me how to spell and telling me to get my “broke ass home” is awesome in my book.

Superlative: Most likely to provoke intellectual conversation and debate over whether she’s saying “flossy flossy” or “flouncy flouncy.” Apparently we were too preppy to understand.

1. “Cupid’s Chokehold”, Gym Class Heroes
If lyrics like “… she even cooks me pancakes and Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches” ain’t love, then I don’t know what love is.

Superlative: Best expression of vocal ability with use of the words “ba da da da”. I still can’t get the pitch right when I’m sober.

Final verdict: I spent a lot of time dancing with girls in the first half of 2007.

Arriving: Eventually

[Photo courtesy of jovovich-hawk.com, from their Spring 2008 Collection]

In an uncharacteristic turn, Target’s Go International is keeping mum about its next designer, who fashion aficionados know – and have known for upwards of four months – to be the design team Jovovich-Hawk. In the past year or so, Target has lined its designers back-to-back, with arrivals and departures within days of one another. Erin Fetherstone’s disappointing collection departed on January 5th, and still, there has been no official word or press release from Target, never mind the sneak peeks of outfits.

Word has it that Target wants to make the Jovovich-Hawk debut at New York’s Olympus Fashion Week in early February.

Jovovich has said, “Our Target line will have all our classic pieces: smock dresses, tunics, minis, all vintage-inspired, great prints. We took the things that sold the best for us but we’re doing it on a bigger scale.”

Whatever the reason, throw the dog a damn bone already! Or could it be that Target’s bottomless well of designers is beginning to run dry?

The Jovovich-Hawk line is set to “arrive” at Target stores nationwide on March 2nd.

Hallelujah!

I go out for three hours only to come back to find that ...

Ahhhhhh ... holy beam of light upon us,

Britney is divorcing KFed's nasty arse.

This announcement is well on its way to setting records over at LiveJournal's "Oh No They Didn't!" At press time, the announcement drew 87 -- count 'em -- 87 pages of comments. 4,569 individual comments.

And at press time, all entries on Popdirt.com's front page focus on Britney and Kevin.

This is rather mind-blowing. Let's make a list of other events that would make the top five Blow Your Mind moments in which you would find me jete-ing across my 7'X7' bedroom:

5. Aaron Carter heads to rehab for crystal meth abuse and/or comes out of the closet.

4. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey declare that their separation/divorce was a publicity stunt and get back together.

3. Paris Hilton suffers major injuries in a drunk-driving incident and becomes paralyzed/loses a limb and requires major plastic surgery.

2. Lindsay Lohan dies of an STD/exhaustion/eating disorder.

1. Katie Holmes leaves Tom Cruise and reveals that baby Suri is an actress the couple hired.

My two favorite people.

My new favorite picture. Ever.


[Photo courtesy of ONTD]

WTF?

Brody Jenner's apparently got a thing for the girls of reality TV -- specifically blondes from "Laguna Beach."

The "Prince of Malibu" was spotted heading into Shag last night with none other than Lauren Conrad, the well-known arch-enemy of his ex-girlfriend Kristin Cavallari. While TMZ could not confirm any romantic connection between the two, hanging out with your ex's enemy in public is still a pretty bold move. Also along for the evening was LC's "The Hills" co-star Heidi Montag.

A TMZ spy claims that Jenner was also spotted inside a nearby bar "getting close to a mysterious dirty blonde, wavy-haired girl." It's been recently reported that Brody is dating Nicole Richie, however, throughout the course of the two aforementioned incidents, Richie was nowhere in sight.

And a video!?

Another followup

This is just so wrong it's right. Page Six says:
Nick: How I Got Back at Paris

The former Backstreet Boy revealed his revenge tactic when he and his kid brother Aaron visited Page Six yesterday to promote their E! show, "House of Carters," on their way to an Us Weekly luncheon

"I'd fallen head over heels with this chick. Then, all of a sudden, three months go by and I got people telling me, 'Nick, you know what Paris is doing to you,' and I got a little upset," Carter related. "So then I just decided to fight back a little bit and started doing my own thing again. The result is I hooked up with Ashlee Simpson. When Paris came back from Australia, they talked to each other and she found out about it.

"So I brought it up to her and said, 'You know what I did, and now it's your turn. Why don't you tell me what you did.' And she goes, 'I never did anything! I never cheated on you.' I had kind of started to really like Ashlee and I was thinking about the dating stage, then, before you know it [bleep]ing bitch-face comes back."

Carter, 26, told us he has no regrets, but still has a bitter taste in his mouth about Hilton. "I got so burnt over that whole Paris [bleep] with all this swinging and switching. Whatever happened to morals and values?" asked Nick, who's now working on a highly anticipated Backstreet Boys reunion album: "We've done about half of it so far."

Meanwhile, Aaron, 19, who has a new album due in February, says his own shotgun engagement last year to Playboy Playmate Kari Ann Peniche, who'd previously dated Nick, failed because he just wasn't ready to settle down. "It was just a big mess. She was pretty upset, but I just realized I made a mistake," he said.

And it wasn't a cheap mistake. While he never got her an engagement ring, "I bought her earrings for $10,000," Aaron confided. "And I need to get 'em, back. I need to get 'em back!" Good luck with that.

As much as I adore Nick (and I just lost some of your respect, I know ... it's a loyalty thing), he really needs to stop ratting out all these long ago stories to sell his show. He's always kept things to himself and I feel like he's completely selling out by airing all his laundry now. Hopefully it's just Paris and him wanting to lash out at her in the media now that she has lost her credibility (not that she ever really had any) in the public eye. But still, Nick, there are more mature ways.

More on Nick and Aaron Carter.

[Photo courtesy of eonline.com]
Did anyone see the internet premiere of House of Carters. It was intense. Nick reveals some pretty juicy stuff about Paris, if anyone's interested. It officially premieres on E! at 9pm on Monday.

To follow-up on the Aaron Carter engagement, the two broke it off within a week when Aaron realized that Kari Ann Peniche had had relations with his older brother.

Nick and Aaron have been circulating all the major radio shows and daytime talk shows to promote House of Carters. They stopped in at Howard Stern's show yesterday and here are some things they revealed:
- Nick's first girlfriend was none other than Debra Beasley LaFave, the Florida school teacher who took part in illegal sexual activity with more than one student. They dated for a year-and-a-half or two when he was fifteen and she was fourteen before Nick's friends clued him in on the fact that she was cheating on him -- with a girl.
- Aaron still stands by the fact that Hilary Duff is his "true love," and when asked why that is, he claimed that the two lost their virginities to one another. Not sure how Hilary's going to respond to that, since she and her "people" have heavily implied that she is a virgin or has held out on boyfriend Joel Madden.
- Aaron also admits that though he and Lindsay Lohan dated, they "never took it to that level."
- Nick says he held out on Paris for two-and-a-half weeks before he was skeptical of her intentions, but she won him over after a month or two of acting sweet and domestic. Her true colors came through soon afterwards, and Nick admits that though he stayed faithful to her for the first four months, he was aware of the fact that she was cheating on him. He then went onto cheat on her, which is when the relationship unravel and they decided to call it quits.
- Aaron claims that Brooke Hogan is "the sweetest girl" he has ever met. They dated for a while and Aaron thinks they may get things started again. He was her first kiss.
- Aaron says that he's missing $5 or $6 million dollars on account of his mother.

And this isn't news, but Jessica Simpson was interested in Nick and approached Aaron about it, but Nick was dating Mandy Williford (a.k.a. Willa Ford) at the time. Aaron says, "Why do you think she married Nick Lachey? ... She just wanted a 'Nick'! She wanted this Nick but she had to settle for the 98 Degrees."

For the most part, I think they were pretty tactful, maybe except for Aaron's confession about Hilary. I don't think she'll be happy about that.

I haven't said anything about the Laguna Beach kids, but Jason Wahler's been arrested twice in the past month. He was first arrested in NY for "disorderly conduct, possession of a controlled substance, resisting arrest and bribery." Three weeks later (last Friday) in Los Angeles, he had an incident with a Department of Transportation officer and a tow-truck driver. He and his friend Kristen DeLuca were arrested on battery charges.

Who knew he'd be the first to go?

Here I am, bringing you the latest in post-teenybopper news.


[Photo courtesy of Kari Ann's MySpace. It's the best photo I could find of her]
So Aaron Carter has gotten engaged to one unlucky twenty-two year old woman by the name of Kari Ann Peniche. The two had sense enough in them to decide not to pull a Britney and are instead planning a real wedding. Carter, 18, proposed to his girlfriend on stage in Las Vegas last night. Peniche was named Miss United States Teen in 2003, but her title was revoked when she posed for Playboy. Here's another little tidbit: Peniche used to date Aaron's older brother Nick!

"I'm very excited about it," Peniche told United Press International. "Aaron is the most genuine person I know. He's kind, loving, and I love him so much."

I'm tired of the same ole same ole with Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan is in the spotlight so often that little she does continues to shock me. Well, maybe except for this.

According to Page Six, Lindsay joined her mother Dina for Dina's birthday celebration at Phillipe's in NYC. A spy reported that "Lindsay got a call from her mother telling her to come to the party ... Lindsay didn't want to go because her mother was drinking already, but she went anyway." When Lindsay arrived, "her mother and her four friends were into their second bottle of Cristal" and "right after the first course", Lindsay and Dina got into a huge fight. Apparently they cursed each other out before Lindsay told her mother to "Go to Hell" and abrupted left. She was seen later that night at the Calvin Klein party, where she appeared to be calm and collected.

I'd hate to be Dina Lohan's daughter.

September 6th.

So ... "Suri Cruise" was "unveiled" today. I still don't believe that that baby was brought into the world by Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. I can see Tom in the baby, but ... I'm convinced that they've hired a baby who looks like it could be their baby. I find Suri kind of freakish looking myself ... I LOVE babies, but that baby kind of scares me. I think it's the steely-blue eyes.

Who knew Katie Holmes could produce such fugliness?


[Photo courtesy of ONTD]
But the highlight of my week thus far has been that Paris Hilton was denied access to nightclub Bungalow 8 in NYC, and stood outside crying while the paparazzi snapped away. That definitely made my day.

August 27th.

It's been a while. Since I last wrote, I got myself a fully-functional keyboard (klutz that I am, I spilled soup over my laptop's keyboard in January) and writing is now easier than ever! Anyway, the third season of Laguna Beach is now underway. What do you guys think?

I enjoy watching it just because it's so drama-ridden, but the storylines and even dialogue are hauntingly familiar. It's like listening to a Lauren and Lo dialogue come out of Kyndra and Cami's mouths. I don't think I'll be investing in the Season Three DVD set when it comes out.

Other than that, my last day of work was a week and a half ago and I got to stand in on a Jesse McCartney TEENick shoot and interview him. He's pretty much exactly how I'd expected him to be: smart, witty, funny and very real.

I've been noticing that all these High School Musical actors have been getting record deals. I watched High School Musical when it first came out and frankly, I wasn't all that impressed. Maybe it's because I'm only ... oh about seven years out of the target age group, but still. I saw Ashley Tisdale's video for "Kiss The Girl" was repulsed. She's a twenty-one year old acting like she's fifteen, and her voice is kind of annoying. Yesterday I heard Vanessa Hudgens' song for the first time, and it is a hell of a lot more tolerable. She may have one of the best voices among the girls Disney has cranked out, though that's really not saying much. And on another note, Hayden Panettiere's album is coming out soon?

It seems like the second coming of the teen pop craze. Fasten your seatbelts?

August 14th.

A quick summary of new things:

I saw Half Nelson, the newest Ryan Gosling film, when it opened on Friday here in the city. It was fantastic -- the perfect balance of cynicism and sweetness. I'm used to seeing Gosling in dark films, in disturbingly heavy roles. And then there was the unusual role he took on in The Notebook. Well in Half Nelson, his character Dan is immature, vulnerable, charming and humorous. This is the funniest role I've seen him in since his days on Mickey Mouse Club. I have nothing but praises to sing about this film. I highly recommend it. He will single-handedly bring back the bandage-to-lip trend.

I also got my hands on Paris Hilton's upcoming album Paris. I hate to admit it (I really, really do), but the critics were right. It's a genuinely good album. It's catchy, fun, sexy, cute. What it isn't, however, is a showcase of Paris' vocal abilities. (Probably because they are lacking.) I'm not telling you to go and buy it, but if you're remotely curious, have yourself a listen.

August 8th.

I forgot to mention my absolute disapproval and disappointment in Lauren's decision in The Hills' season (and likely series, from the dullness of the show) finale in my last entry. Paris or Jason, Jason or Paris? Call me the career girl with a New York state of mind, but ... hello!??? And from the looks of it, Jason could've probably afforded to have moved with her to Paris for the summer! Double-yoo-tee-eff, man. Well, I guess we won't know for sure whether Lauren chose Paris or Jason, because MTV has a pretty amazing editing team. But if it actually turned out the way it was portrayed, I have lost all respect for Ms. Conrad.

But anyway, the big news today (according to Us Weekly) is that Jason and Lauren have called it quits. She confirmed this, saying, “Yes it is true, Jason and I are no longer together, but out of respect for his privacy I am not going to discuss the details of the breakup." Friends of the former couple say that it was Lauren who did the breaking up and it was because she sick and tired of his "going out to clubs, flirting with girls, staying out late ..." Knew she should've chosen Paris!


[Photo courtesy of ONTD]
... and I have had about enough of Lindsay Lohan and her big mouth. I can tolerate her being disarmingly honest, but she's gone past honest. I've never liked her, but she ... bugs me now. Here are some disconcerting exerpts from her interview with ELLE magazine:
"Well, [I] say things that aren't true a lot, just because it's fun. Yeah, if I was dating one person [I'd] probably tell them I was dating someone else and then I'd call my friend and be like, 'Do you mind if I say that we're dating?' I figure I'll f--- with them, because they f--- with me.'"
(That's the way to go about things, fer sher!)

"I mean, if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. But I think I've had enough experience with dating one guy for a long time. The only one was Wilmer and apparently Jared, but Jared was so paranoid. He'd always be like, 'Don't come over if you're going to bring 15 f---ing paparazzi!' ... It's different if it's a guy who's already in the public eye. But if it's, like, a guy who's just starting out in a band, or a model ... they might get a big head. You have to think about those things."
(And how 'bout you getting a big head? Oh, your life is so hard, boo hoo.)

On girls who make it:
"Now you just have to be on a reality show. I'm an actress who appreciates movies like To Catch a Thief, Kitten With a Whip, and Niagara. And then there's these other girls -- and I'm happy for them -- who basically go to the clubs, sit in a booth near me or Kirsten Dunst, do a few rebellious things, and they get put on the covers of magazines. They're getting their own shows, and now they're doing movies. What the f---? I've had to work since I was four years old!"
(What's that about big heads again?)

On her alleged cocaine use:
"And I'm not. There you have it. It's not true. I remember my dad would always look me in the eyes and be able to tell that I was lying if I looked away for a second. A security guard taught me that too -- and he works in the CIA! So look me in the eyes. I'm not looking away. I'll talk to you for the rest of the interview like this if you want. aside from me having to eat my food [the interviewer later reveals that she consumes an artichoke and two pinot grigios]. It's not true! My mother would take me out of the business."
"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long. Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous. I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did, when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be. So I tried to go there. I'm not afraid of going. My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons. He says if I'm going to go there I should really know how to shoot. Yeah, I have a dark side. I go to my dark side. I watched all those videos on Charles Manson for a while."
(Um, there's so much wrong with what she's said that I don't even know where to start. I think I'll just leave it at saying that I hope she's kidding about the Charles Manson videos. Really hardcore, Linds.)

With any luck, her life will be an exact replica of Marilyn's.

August 3rd.

Hello August 2006! So the nation's been having some sort of meltdown, likely due to global warming and the like. It was 104* yesterday here in the Big Apple, and not much better today. I have a theory about NYC and why it gets so disgusting during the summer. It's called tourists and the displacement of air.

Speaking of tourists, I encountered my favorite one yet today. A British lady stopped in the middle of the street (46th and Broadway) and asked, "Where's Times Square?" And all the while, one of the five crazy screens (at least four of which should have been turned off to conserve energy) flashed, "The ball drops here!!!" while showing a crazy animation of the New Years Eve ball. "Times Square 2006."

Have you guys heard about this new internet celebrity? Her name is Bree ... and that's pretty much all we know about her. The New York Times even write a little piece about her and her video blog on YouTube. You can check it out here. I find her highly entertaining. Sort of a real-life Clarissa Explains It All.

Anyway, I am so very sick of hearing about Mel Gibson. I don't care that people have cell phone videos of him just minutes before he was arrested. I don't want to hear the stories of the girls who were photographed with him just minutes before he was arrested. I don't care that he was arrested for DUI. If I were to care about Mel Gibson in the slightest (which I still don't), it'd be that he made such slanderous statements against the Jewish. Why are ET and The Insider and their counterparts still giving Mel eight minutes every night?

I'm also sick of hearing about Christie Brinkley and her husband's affair with a nineteen-year-old. And how that nineteen-year-old is using it all in her favor.

I am interested, however, in hearing more about the stern letter Lindsay Lohan received from the production company behind her current project, Georgia Rule. And her continual partying. (Speaking of Lindsay, have you all seen lil sis Aliana in the fall JcPenney commercial? I've been meaning to point that out for ages, but my internet has been down for the past two-plus weeks.) I personally hope that she keeps calling in sick so she'll get fired and Hollywood will boycott her like the fashion industry boycotted her pal Kate Moss after the cocaine scandal last fall.

So maybe I'm a little sadistic.

Mystery Baby, Part Deux

So it seems that Suri Cruise has been spotted! The unnatural and rare occurrence took place in Telluride, Colorado, where a natural-goods store clerk said that Suri was "funny-looking." Classic.

I think MTV (or rather, a production company that typically works for MTV) is trying to recreate the mind-blowing success that was (and is, as you shall sound find out) Laguna Beach -- after the Season Three kids fail to capture our attention and graduate high school in 2007. The company is seeking high school students who watch LB and think, "That's so us." Anyway, they will be auditioning late Julyin Orlando and West Palm Beach. Just a little heads up, if it ever becomes The Next Big Thing.


[Photo courtesy of MTV.com]
So MTV has put up the goods on the cast members of Laguna Beach's third season. Check out the dish on Kyndra, Cami, Raquel, Lexie, Tessa, Breanna, Kelan, Chase and Cameron here. There's a new Season Three trailer, if you're interested. I still can't decide whether I'll watch or not. Chances are I will, but chances are it won't hold my attention.

Weezer's Rivers Cuomo says that the band may never get back together to make another album: "For the moment we are done. And I'm not certain we'll ever make a record again, unless it becomes really obvious to me that we need to do one."

The more I hear about the Nick and Aaron Carter reality show House of Carters, the more worried I get. The thirteen-year-old in me will always remain a loyal Nick/BSB fan, but this is a mistake.

And last but not least, my favorite quote of the week ... some wise words from Paris Hilton. She said of the sex-tape scandal: "That was the most horrible thing somebody could do to you. I was just very young and I really loved [Rick Salomon] and I was a stupid little girl. So I've learned a lot from my mistakes ... I've just got to take this as a lesson in life. Don't ever trust anyone again like that, move on, and just forget about it."

Mystery Baby

I couldn't help but smile when I read this on Oh No They Didn't today ... So if you haven't already heard, Mischa Barton is spending the summer in London (she's quite the world-traveler -- she spent last summer in Italy) studying the art of acting at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (I do believe that's what it's called). Today was the first day, and a fellow student had a sweet if not refreshing story to tell:
There were some paparazzi outside the school when we arrived in the morning (it was our first day) and she sat near me while we were waiting to go into our intro lecture as an entire group so I gave her a once over. :) She sat by herself most of the time and I actually sort of felt bad that no one was talking to her and she was just reading The Merchant of Venice all by herself so I was gonna go say Hi but then some (birds of a feather stylewise) girls (who I've met and are very nice) converged on her area and started talking to her so I didn't bother.

We share a lunch period and she and I had a brief conversation about the menu, while in line. She is very pretty in person, with lots of freckles, and way less skinny then I expected based on what I hear on ONTD and the photo's I've seen before (I saw one part of one episode of the OC so I'm not familiar with her work). She is def. thin but she appears to have a "tall girl" frame and not just a "tall super model anorexic girl" frame. She did, in fact, eat at lunch, with everyone else, in the canteen.

One guy I hung out with is in her group and he said (although he had no idea who she was) that she was nice and seemed to want to work really hard.

She stopped into the meet and greet at the RADA bar after classes for about 2 minutes and then vacated. She is *not* staying in the dorms with us :)

So... based on what I saw, she's pretty down to earth and nice. She didn't pull any diva stunts or anything. It's only been one day but I get the impression she's mostly trying to blend in. That is all :)

Can you imagine Mischa eating school lunch with everyone else!? AW!

More news on Suri Cruise's birth certificate. While one of you mentioned in the comments that Tom Cruise's birth name is not, in fact, Cruise, I've heard conflicting reports that he has had it legally changed to Cruise. Anyway, the woman who signed the certificate as a witness to Suri's birth also signed for Grier Henchy, Brooke Shields' newborn baby. Turns out Heffernan (the witness)'s license number is different on the two certificates. The Board of Registered Nursing says that the number on Grier's certificate belongs to a Dorothy Rork, while the one on Suri's belongs to a Big Fat Nobody.

Freaky deaky, huh? Well at least Brooke signed her own baby's certificate.

What's the deal?

Happy 26th Birthday to Jessica Simpson!

What is the deal with this Valderrama kid!? Even Josh Hartnett was worried about his gal Scarlett Johansson when she hung out with Wilmer recently in the Hamptons. Well, he probably has a reason to be -- Wilmer arranged a helicopter just for Scarlett to come out to his Hamptons party. Josh reportedly kept calling Scarlett to check up on her. At last, Scarlett was so fed up with the calls that she simply handed her phone over to Wilmer and said, "Talk to Josh. Tell him we're friends."
Now I don't know a thing about either guys' personalities, but I think I'd take Hartnett over Valderrama any day.

Lindsay Lohan has said in the past that she's looking to move to London because she likes a boy there. Well celebritymound.com seems to have uncovered the "boy"'s name. He is Welsh actor Rhys Ifans [the guy who played Hugh Grant's flatmate in Notting Hill, ew], who was introduced to Lindsay by none other than Kate Moss. A source told The Daily Star that "... Rhys was really the icing on the cake for Lindsay. She already loves hanging out with Kate in London ... She's celebrating the fact she can dress like a rock chick, rather than a perma-tanned Hollywood clone, and can drink and eat without worry ... Lindsay is branded a hell-raiser in the US because the legal drinking age is 21. So it's an amazing relief to be in England where things are more liberal. She loves that it's different here." Great. An even drunker, more coked out Lohan. Just what we needed. At least it's England dealing with it, and not us. [Photo courtesy of mirror.co.uk]

Something kind of funny happened to Freddie Prinze Jr. -- "I was in the Vancouver airport, and I was speaking with a young girl ... She asked if I was Freddie Prinze Jr., and I said I was. She kind of giggled, and while I was talking with her, her girlfriend ran up and took my sandwich. I did not call out after her. I didn't know what to do. I had never had anyone steal food from me before. How do you react if someone takes your sandwich? I just finished my cup of coffee and got on the plane and flew home." Is that sandwich going to turn up on eBay?

It looks like Ashlee Simpson won't be the new face of Victoria Secret's PINK line afterall. She will, however, be participating in Victoria Secret's World's Largest Pajama Party on July 19th.

And Suri Cruise's birth certificate exists. However, it wasn't filed until ten days after it was supposed to have been. A couple of suspicious things occurred along the way, though ... the person who signed as a rep of the parents certifying birth did not go into the hospital until May 4th, when Suri was born on April 18th. The signature is not legible. Similarly, the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed the certificate was not actually in the delivery room and never saw the baby. Hmm ... Knowing fans have pointed out that "Kate" is not, in fact, Katie's legal name. It's "Katherine", thus putting in question the validity of the certificate.

Just the flavor of the week ...

[Photo courtesy of ONTD]
Lindsay Lohan finally had enough with those paps following around and blew up at them the other day, as she made her way through Malibu Country Mart to her car. Later that day, she was filmed partying on a balcony in Malibu, where she also snuggled up alongside twenty-five year old Harry Morton, owner of the Pink Taco restaurant chain, then offering the paps Gatorade and beer. Watch the mayhem with your own eyes here and here.

The NY Post reports that Kelly Clarkson has gotten her own flavor of Vitamin Water under one condition -- that she lose some weight. The brand is "all about fitness and health" and deems Clarkson ... not the perfect model of fitness and health, so she's been put on a strict diet in preparation of the flavor's unveiling. Terrible.

Seems like Kristin Cavallari's hair extensions are back. Not that you really were keeping count. But she was photographed on the beach recently, look fit, as ever. Kristin was also reportedly invited to and attended Lindsay Lohan's 20th birthday party with beau Brody Jenner. Interesting.

And SPOILER ALERT. Sort of. Seems like Heidi Montag and The Hills boyfriend Jordan are no longer together. She may be seeing a guy named Beau right now, but who really knows?

Coupledom in Hollywood

That's right ... why have we not jumped on TomKat for this yet!? It's been nearly three months since baby Suri was born and we have seen n'er a photograph of her. Us Weekly points out every detail of this strange-ness for us: A source says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show her off to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met her, despite repeated calls to Cruise. “Every time, it’s a different excuse: He’s busy or Kate’s not feeling well,” says a source. ‘[The Smiths] think it’s so weird.”

Soon after the baby was born, photo agency WireImage approached multiple outlets (including Us) with the news that it would be offering pictures of Suri for auction. Days later, on May 11, before official bidding was even underway, the agency sent out an e-mail declaring that “the baby shoot is on hold for now. There is no additional info as to when this may happen or if it will even happen at all.”

Can we go back to the pillow theory now?

Speaking of conspiracies, here's the "truth" behind the Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie feud, according to Faded Youth: The first season of the show was a hit and soon Nicole decided she wanted a raise. Instead of consulting Paris , she went straight to producers and asked for more money. Paris was OUTRAGED that her friend "went behind her back" and asked for the same salary as hers ... She considered Nicole a traitor and tried to get her kicked off the show and replaced by her new best friend Kimberly Stewart. But producers felt Nicole was the funny one and she was essential to the show's success. That REALLY infuriated Paris. Their feud only made the show MORE popular. Interestingly enough, not long ago, Paris was seen walking out of Nicole's West Hollywood condo. A secret meeting?

Aww, are Paris and Nicole secretly getting back together? There's hope yet for Nick and Jessica!

... and speaking of Jessica, Perez Hilton is spreading rumors about there being a potential little something going on between newly single Zach Braff and Jessica Simpson. They were seen hanging out this past week in NYC, but ... come on. Just ... no.

Too much, too soon.

Everyone's been talking about Keira Knightley's snarky response to anorexia rumors. She disspelled the rumors at a recent press conference for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, following her appearance at the London premiere of the movie to which she showed up looking particularly thin. She had this to say: "[The press] said to me yesterday 'How does it feel to be called anorexic?' and I had no idea that I was ... I'm not saying there aren't people in the film industry that suffer from it, because I am sure that there are. But I'm quite sure I don't have it." [Photo courtesy of the AP]

Wonder what Lindsay Lohan did for her twentieth birthday this past Sunday? Well it just so happens that Life & Style magazine paid for the $100,000 bash in return for rights to photos of her party. A whole slew of celebs showed up to the Malibu bash, and LiLo DJ'ed alongside gal pal Samantha Ronson and Dustin Hoffman's son, Jake.

Lindsay appears on the cover of British GQ this month, in which she boasts, "I think I'm more sexual than my friends. More comfortable in my skin. I'm a sexual person -- definitely ... Women are sexy. I think a woman's body is so much more sensual than a man's. I'm not saying strip off all your clothes but there are certain photos I like people taking of me where I'm comfortable ... As long as it's tasteful and not cheap or whore-ish I mean - why not?" Ahem. She goes on to say, "I don't know if I could be monogamous. I don't want to be with just one person. Redheads are more passionate and more sensual than other girls."

By the way, her Kabbalah name is "Rose." DeWitt Bukater, right?

Who knew that Avril Lavigne and fiance Deryck Whibley were set to marry on August 26th of this year!? Well you can forget that, because they're itching to get hitched and have reportedly moved the date up. Rumor has it that Avril had her bridal shower this past Saturday.

We all know where Paris Hilton learned to do ... what she does. But boobie-flashing aside, it seems like she may have learned how to be a little racist (or just oblivious) from her momma, Kathy. Page Six reported that at a party in East Hampton on Saturday night, an excited Kathy approached Star Jones and offered her warm wishes -- and assumed the man sitting beside her was her husband, Al Reynolds. When told that she had said, "Great to see you, Al!" to NBC's Bryant Gumbel, she replied, "My poor eyes are going at the age of 44."

Looks like Lauren Conrad's never going to let Kristin Cavallari off the hook. She told the Philadelphia Inquirer that she was an obvious choice for a Laguna Beach spin-off, and made a jab at Kristin while she was at it: "If you think about it, I don't know who else they would have picked ... There were only a few main people - Talan [Torriero], who wants to, like, marry a movie star, and he's already tried, and Steven [Colletti] does, like, VJ'ing stuff for MTV, so he's already on TV, and Kristin [Cavallari] is trying to act and hook up with every star she can. They're all so involved in the Hollywood and I'm not so much. They want it to be a show about a regular person. As much as it can be." LC needs to get over it like she got over Stephen.

Lastly, Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia have broken it off after rumors of verbal abuse on his part circulated the internet. The two dated for ... a really long time.

Happy July 4th!

Sorry, sorry for not updating these past few days -- my internet has been incredibly spotty.

Everyone's on holiday mode, including the celebs, because nothing interesting's been going on. The whole Jamie Lynn Spears story may arguably be the most interesting.

Last year we heard that Jamie Lynn had big sis Britney confront one of JL's co-stars on Zoey 101, and even made the poor girl (Alexa Nikolas) cry. Well now we're hearing that Alexa's character Nicole has been written off the show -- through a bad accident. According to the NY Post, "So far Nickelodeon and the Spears have managed to keep this quiet ... Nicole is a big fan favorite and they are keeping it from the kiddies for as long as they can. But Alexa hasn't worked since the big blowup with Britney." Ouch. Even barefooted and pregnant, Britney is working her magic!

Orlando Bloom said that he and co-star Johnny Depp probably didn't make the best impression on St. Vincent's Prime Minister Ralph Gonsalves. The two had no idea the PM would be at the airport to greet them and had a red wine sesh during the flight: "We just got loaded on the plane. I mean we were wasted drunk. He [Depp] loves really good red wine ... We get off the plane and they rolled out the red carpet and the Prime Minister of St Vincent was there to meet us ... Johnny stumbles over to him and hugs him ... and almost sticks his tongue down his throat, I'm, like, falling around picking up things ... Nobody told us. It was just one of those moments." Oops.

Ashlee Simpson will be the new face and body of Victoria Secret's PINK line. Annnd she's moving in with guitarist-boyfriend Braxton Olita. Now she can frolick around the house with Braxton in her PINK sweats. Know what I'm sayin'?

Last but not least, when did Lindsay Lohan's brother Michael lose that weight and get -- dare I say -- hot? Girls (and guys), he's eighteen going on nineteen, so it's alright to drool a little bit. [Photo courtesy of locationlohan.com]

Happy Independence Day, Americans!