Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Hallelujah!

I go out for three hours only to come back to find that ...

Ahhhhhh ... holy beam of light upon us,

Britney is divorcing KFed's nasty arse.

This announcement is well on its way to setting records over at LiveJournal's "Oh No They Didn't!" At press time, the announcement drew 87 -- count 'em -- 87 pages of comments. 4,569 individual comments.

And at press time, all entries on Popdirt.com's front page focus on Britney and Kevin.

This is rather mind-blowing. Let's make a list of other events that would make the top five Blow Your Mind moments in which you would find me jete-ing across my 7'X7' bedroom:

5. Aaron Carter heads to rehab for crystal meth abuse and/or comes out of the closet.

4. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey declare that their separation/divorce was a publicity stunt and get back together.

3. Paris Hilton suffers major injuries in a drunk-driving incident and becomes paralyzed/loses a limb and requires major plastic surgery.

2. Lindsay Lohan dies of an STD/exhaustion/eating disorder.

1. Katie Holmes leaves Tom Cruise and reveals that baby Suri is an actress the couple hired.