Who will be the next American Idol?

Friends, it has been too long. Let’s just say the Italian sun did me no favors, and neither did their “legendary cuisine”. I am sad to report – after giving the country from which pizza originated – that New York wins, hands down.

As expected, I have much to catch up on in terms of celebrity gossip, but I have been keeping American Idol safely by my side. Since I last wrote, one of my personal favorites, Danny Noriega, was kicked off. But so was the annoying, eyebrow-swiggling David Hernandez.

While Danny Noriega did not perform to his fullest potential, I truly do believe he sacrificed the popular vote for self-expression. Kudos to that much. I hear he’s going to be working for Rosie O’Donnell?

And the David Archuleta pendulum continues to swing back and forth: I love him more than ever now, but am – with bated and forlorn breath – counting the weeks till he is booted off. I think it’s pretty inevitable – the hype has grown beyond his 5’5’’/5’6’’ frame and people are quickly tiring of him. With the advantage of having heard the studio versions of his last few performances, I can say that the botched performance of “We Can Work It Out” could have easily matched or surpassed his performance of “Shop Around” – if he hadn’t forgotten the lyrics with a panicked smile. I’m not sure what, at this point, he can do to make himself more interesting or gain more fans, as even his best will be mediocre in comparison to “Imagine”. That’s just the downside of peaking early.

The teen/sympathy vote will keep him going for a few more weeks, but like the presidential election, a lot of the fading contenders’ (Jason Castro, Ramiele Malubay) votes will go to fight “the lesser of two evils”. I’m still questioning whether his trip-ups are genuine or just a ploy to gain sympathy and make him appear more flawed. And for the record, the evil stage-dad rumors – publicity at any cost – seem neither to help nor hurt him.

Anyway, he’s got it made. He’s going to sign a recording contract when this is all over, American Idol or no.


[Photo courtesy of JustJared.com]
The other Mormon on the show, the 24-year-old married Brooke White is quickly losing her appeal. She continues to sing songs in the same style, with that same vulnerable, pitiful Corinne Bailey Rae chirpy rasp, and give the camera that sad smile. I’m not buying it anymore, and frankly, if it weren’t for her all-American pretty-good-looks, I would probably dislike her as much as I dislike Kristy Lee Cook (who needs to be booted off, STAT). Stop giving us your heartbroken smiles and playing the good-girl card. We know you’re a good girl; we know you’re LDS. Now try something new, or go back to Mesa and start making babies. Your clock is ticking, my dear.

And can someone explain to me the draw of David Cook? He’s good – I’ll give him that much (and the potential to be more attractive than most of the other male contestants). Maybe I just can’t see the big picture, but like Brooke White, I feel as if he’s pigeon-holed himself into a category that can only take him so far. If the history of American Idol is any indication, it’s pretty apparent that the winner will be, foremost, a pop star. Even success story Daughtry didn’t win.

Well, this week could be disastrous for some of our favorite Idols: it’s Dolly Parton week. Bless the Idols’ little souls, and bless our ears.