August 3rd.

Hello August 2006! So the nation's been having some sort of meltdown, likely due to global warming and the like. It was 104* yesterday here in the Big Apple, and not much better today. I have a theory about NYC and why it gets so disgusting during the summer. It's called tourists and the displacement of air.

Speaking of tourists, I encountered my favorite one yet today. A British lady stopped in the middle of the street (46th and Broadway) and asked, "Where's Times Square?" And all the while, one of the five crazy screens (at least four of which should have been turned off to conserve energy) flashed, "The ball drops here!!!" while showing a crazy animation of the New Years Eve ball. "Times Square 2006."

Have you guys heard about this new internet celebrity? Her name is Bree ... and that's pretty much all we know about her. The New York Times even write a little piece about her and her video blog on YouTube. You can check it out here. I find her highly entertaining. Sort of a real-life Clarissa Explains It All.

Anyway, I am so very sick of hearing about Mel Gibson. I don't care that people have cell phone videos of him just minutes before he was arrested. I don't want to hear the stories of the girls who were photographed with him just minutes before he was arrested. I don't care that he was arrested for DUI. If I were to care about Mel Gibson in the slightest (which I still don't), it'd be that he made such slanderous statements against the Jewish. Why are ET and The Insider and their counterparts still giving Mel eight minutes every night?

I'm also sick of hearing about Christie Brinkley and her husband's affair with a nineteen-year-old. And how that nineteen-year-old is using it all in her favor.

I am interested, however, in hearing more about the stern letter Lindsay Lohan received from the production company behind her current project, Georgia Rule. And her continual partying. (Speaking of Lindsay, have you all seen lil sis Aliana in the fall JcPenney commercial? I've been meaning to point that out for ages, but my internet has been down for the past two-plus weeks.) I personally hope that she keeps calling in sick so she'll get fired and Hollywood will boycott her like the fashion industry boycotted her pal Kate Moss after the cocaine scandal last fall.

So maybe I'm a little sadistic.