Love dust remains in Hollywood smog.

Having been away from the exciting online circulations of celebrity gossip, I was shocked to hear today that wedding bells are sounding in Hollywood again.

First off, a huge surprise and not so much of a surprise all at once -- Paris and Paris. Apparently Paris (the Greek one) proposed to Paris (the American one) last Wednesday, but didn't prepare a ring! (Catherine would've turned him down on the spot!) The two were spotted shopping around in Hollywood for a ring today.


(Photo courtesy of celebweb.org)

Catherine and I had decided just two days ago that if the two were ever to wed, they would most certainly name their child Paris. Hilton has previously been engaged to male model Jason Shaw, but broke it off before the two made the big dive. Supposedly, they're still good friends. It's a scary thought that she's fresh off of Mr. Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, because if that had gone any better, a baby Paris Carter could've sprung up in the near future. Hmm ... I wonder whose last name she's going to take. Two Paris Latsises married to one another is an extremely chilling thought.

And this ... "Zing?" as Seth Cohen would say. Even my dad is a little disheartened over Katie's decision. And my dad's well into his senior citizen years. Katie, Katie, Katie.

It's bugging us.

So Catherine is looking for this song. It's a fast song. It's probably from the early '80s or before because no one would dare write such obscure lyrics these days. She thinks a woman sings it or in it. It's not the Delphonics' version. And so it goes ...

lalalalalala means I love you

Help?

Gratefully yours,
The Glitterati

H&M: Hip and Modish

Some exciting news ... the dreadful line Karl Lagerfeld created for H&M is out ... and ...

Stella McCartney's in!

2. 
   
   

Her line, "Stella McCartney for H&M" (how original) will be unveiled at an H&M store near you this coming November. Let's hope Stella brings some color and life to the collection. That's certainly more than I can say for Lagerfeld's $99 demure black cocktail dress. And black trousers. And black blazer.

Say it isn't true!

I've heard rumors that our beloved Jake Gyllenhaal is dating none other than Hollywood hookup girl Lindsay Lohan!? She will soon be contaminating a handsome boy near you.

(Photo courtesy of lime-light.org)
Lohan was spotted at Koi while Gyllenhaal was also there. The two left separately.

Let's make a list.

Lindsay Lohan
- Aaron Carter
- Chris Trousdale
- Jesse McCartney(?)
- Colin Farrell
- Wilmer Valderrama
- The Model
- Bruce Willis
- "Patrick"
- Talan Torriero
- Jake Gyllenhaal

And countless others in between, I'm sure. And each of these guys brings his own set of sexually transmitted diseases with them. Yay. So long as she stays away from my top 10, I'm good to go. Unfortunately, she has already infiltrated Catherine's.

From Access Hollywood, Lindsay's got her sights set on a role in Mission: Impossible 3. She told Access Hollywood: "I actually met with J.J. Abrams, who is directing (the film) ... I'm a huge fan of 'Lost' and 'Alias,' so hopefully, we will see what happens. If so, I'll be in training for a few weeks, putting on some muscles."

She needs some muscles.

And for a clip of Paris Hilton stretching her limits and playing someone very unlike herself, click here! (Warning: momentary nudity towards the end)

The Longest Hour of My Life

Chaotic. More like anything BUT. I suppose somewhere in between the VERY close-up shots of her crater face, we do get glimpses of "the real Britney." And I must say, it was quite sad. She obviously has some bitterness issues to deal with, ie: "I knew JC from before, because he was in a group called NSYNC. I don't know if anybody's ever heard of them before." Ouch!

Yes, I believe she was sincere when she talked about how lonely she was, and how there was a void in her life. But lonely to the point of flying a guy, that she only met for like, five minutes in a club in LA (how skeevy is that?!), out to London because she "wouldn't continue her tour without him." And then bragging about having sex with him three times in one day? Ok, no thanks. Too much information.

The home video feel of the show just makes me dizzy. And what's with the night vision? Paris has already been there, done that. I hear next week is going to be clips off the Britney cam again. I wanna know what life is like for them NOW!

As much as I was waiting for Britney and Kevin to break up, it seems like this is something she really needs. So best of luck to them. Don't forget to tune in next week! Hopefully, 30 minutes will pass faster.

Spreading our wings.

We're at last posting on topics outside the very blonde realm of High School Hollywood (Paris, Lindsay, Nicole, Britney, Hilary, Nick Carter, etc.).

We're very sad to post that thirty-six year-old Australian popstar Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with early breast cancer. I'm sure you've already heard the news. We wish nothing but the best to her as she goes through treatment. She is the second Neighbours cast member-turned-popstar to be diagnosed with cancer. Delta Goodrem, twenty, is in remission and is planning to break into the American radio circuit in the coming year.

The other bit of news isn't quite as dismal. New York's Daily News reports that Zach Braff treated a waitress at Aer a little more than rudely. Braff said to her, "You have beautiful tits."
Her story: "I was dressed as a nurse. ... He tried to give me a DVD and he said, 'Let me put it in your breasts.' I said no, and he was like, 'I'm just kidding.' I think it's gross. ... Mandy Moore was in the other room. He was drunk - he asked for, like, 100 shots. I've been there two months, and no customer has come on like that."

Sadly, Braff's rep couldn't exactly stand up for him: "Zach's said some pretty inappropriate things in the past, but he always 'fesses up to them, and he said he didn't say that. But I wasn't there."

Glad I wasn't there.

Carter on Hilton, at last.

Nick Carter finally opens up a little about his relationship with Paris Hilton, in response to a nasty comment that she made about him.

On a Canadian Top 30 countdown, Paris was asked to compare her new boyfriend Paris Latsis to Nick:
"Night and day, he's ... he's just not using me for anything, he loves me, he treats me like a princess, he's not a disgusting pig ... sorry."

Shannon Tyler of a U.S. radio station asked three of the Backstreet Boys (A.J., Nick and Kevin) what they thought.

Nick: "The way I look at it is maybe she should look in the mirror, first of all. Second of all, I kinda have to brush it off my shoulders because I look at it like she's very immature and if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. That's the way I look at life. Obviously, she feeds off of, um, attention yeah, and just really like trying to hurt other people. And I've not been that way, I've never been that way."

Kevin felt strongly about the subject-matter and had his whole schpeal to say:
"It's frustrating for me because the five of us -- well, not the five of us, but the four of us outside of Nick -- have never done anything to say anything negative about her or anything at all. And then in a Rolling Stone article somebody told me she made a comment about the group. So I saw her a party and I went up to her and I'm like, 'Can I talk to you for a second?' and she was like 'Yeahhh' so I pull her aside and I'm like 'Paris, the five of us -- I mean the Backstreet Boys, the four of us as a group -- have done nothing to harm you or said anything bad about you ever. I just heard about an interview that you did with Rolling Stone so I read it myself and I don't appreciate the comments that were made. And unless you want me comin' after you in the press and openin' up a whole can of worms,' I'm like 'you don't want me talkin' about you on the microphone. So you need to stop it,' I'm like 'Lay off my little brother' and don't say anything else about us.' And it angers me that she's started again because for a while, she didn't do anything. So it just angers me. And what really angered me the first time and what really made me really suspicious about her is one time we were in the studio workin' on the record, she came in right in the middle of the studio, interrupted an important meeting that we were havin' but it was Nick's birthday and she wanted to surprise him. She was like 'Oh, I'm sorry, but I have a surprise for Nick.' So we're like, 'Okay, cool.' We go out to the surprise and she's got a birthday cake with her face on it and three camera crews and two tabloid magazines. So what does that tell you about her? She's a press you-fill-in-the-blank."

Nick adds, "I almost feel sorry that she can't move on. You know, I'm not the one who called her a disgusting pig or anything. I've moved on, I don't care. If she's still got that negativity towards me obviously she's still got something goin' on. So I feel bad for her ... Nicole, during that whole thing -- 'cause I went out a little bit with them on that Simple Life thing that they did -- and Nicole, I don't know if it's because of her upbringing or her background, I related to her much more and I realized that when I went out with them. I related to her much more because she, you know, she was adopted and she is a really genuinely kind-hearted person. The problem with Paris is that she thrives off of hurting other people, and it's not just me."

What A.J. had to say?
He called Paris' new movie House of Wax "House of Crackpots."

There we have it. I transcribed that all myself, so be proud. And make your judgments wisely ;).

LA smog blocking out the love particles in Hollywood air?

Not one to trust Star magazine, but rumors have been circulating for a little while now that nineteen-year-old O.C. star Mischa Barton and heir boyfriend Brandon Davis have split.
Teen People said earlier this week that "The couple hasn't been photographed together since mid-March and Mischa failed to show up at an April 22 benefit for Brandon's mother's organization, Race to Erase M.S."
The Daily News quotes "a source": "She wants to take a break ... She wants to focus on her career...she thinks he's too much of a party boy."
As the current season of The O.C. wraps up, Mischa, 19, is not slowing down. The actress, who was born in London and raised in New York, recently flew to Italy to start production of The Decameron, a new flick co-starring Hayden Christensen based on the Italian masterpiece ... Brandon, 24, is scheduled to graduate from University of Southern California this week and is starting off as an art dealer. He already flew to Italy to visit Mischa, but the Daily News reports that some wonder if he's trying to throw some glue on a broken relationship. Others are not so cynical. "They're still very much in love," a friend told the paper.

For a full-length (and possibly fabricated) analysis of their breakup, check out the article at starmagazine.com.

Other celebrity couple news: (I scoped out the scene while I was over at Star's site)
Heidi Klum and Seal have gotten married on a beach in Mexico and Jessica has split from Nick. But c'mon, no one could ever love Jessica like Nick does. I won't believe it till I hear it from the not-so-new Newlyweds themselves.

Kiss kiss.

I'm not usually turned on by Christina Aguilera (or any girl for that matter), but the thought of her enjoying a hot dance at lesbian club GirlBar does it for me.


(Photo courtesy ChristinaMultimedia.com)

Look at those bad-girl fire engine red nails! She even looks hot in her sweatshirt and jeans.

I wanna be just like Christina when I grow up ...

Did we forget someone?

Maxim's Hot 100, courtesy of Business Wire:

1. Eva Longoria
2. Evangeline Lilly
3. Jennifer Garner
4. Lindsay Lohan
5. Jessica Alba
6. Rachel Bilson
7. Angelina Jolie
8. Brittany Murphy
9. Jessica Simpson
10. Sara Foster
11. Cameron Diaz
12. Eva Mendez
13. Ashanti
14. Rachel McAdams
15. Charlize Theron
16. Christina Aguilera
17. Beyonce Knowles
18. Jessica Biel
19. Vanessa Marcil
20. Paris Hilton
21. Uma Thurman
22. Katie Holmes
23. Kate Beckinsale
24. Scarlett Johansson
25. Sofia Vergara
26. Sarah Michelle Gellar
27. Maggie Grace
28. Jaime King
29. Anna Kournikova
30. Christina Milian
31. Brooke Burns
32. Jennifer Love Hewitt
33. Mischa Barton
34. Salma Hayek
35. Ciara
36. Avril Lavigne
37. Nicole Richie
38. Kate Bosworth
39. Shania Twain
40. Pamela Anderson
41. Halle Berry
42. Natalie Portman
43. Kelly Carlson
44. Malia Jones
45. Poppy Montgomery
46. Ashley Scott
47. Emilie de Ravin
48. Sienna Miller
49. Rachel Perry
50. Diane Kruger
51. Nikki Cox
52. Cameron Richardson
53. Keira Knightley
54. Jordana Brewster
55. Samaire Armstrong
56. Lacey Chabert
57. Heidi Klum
58. Brittany
59. Angela Marcello
60. Brittany Gastineau
61. Olivia Wilde
62. Vanessa Minnilo
63. Lauren Bush
64. Kim Smith
65. Leila Arcieri
66. Kelly Brook
67. Kristin Kreuk
68. Kristen Bell
69. Mena Suvari
70. Krista Allen
71. Molly Sims
72. Aisha Tyler
73. Amber Brkich
74. Natassia Malthe
75. Catherine Bell
76. Shana Hiatt
77. Laura Prepon
78. Joanna Krupa
79. Joanne Montanez
80. Rebecca Romijn
81. Grace Park
82. Milla Jovovich
83. Tricia Helfer
84. Donna Feldman
85. Ana Hickman
86. Emma Heming
87. Alexis Bledel
88. Jennifer Aniston
89. Bonnie-Jill Laflin
90. Sara Shahi
91. Summer Altice
92. Bali Rodriguez
93. Lokelani McMichael
94. Amy Cobb
95. Arielle Kebbel
96. Jenni Finch
97. Julie Berry
98. Ivana Bozilovic
99. Moon Bloodgood
100. Adrianne Curry

Once again, I fail to see how someone as passe as Jessica Biel or Shania Twain made it, but someone as hot as Elisha Cuthbert didn't.

Deserving of said position, if not deserving of a higher position.
Not deserving of said position.
Uh, self-explanatory?

I really do not understand why Arielle Kebbel made the list at all, why Kim Smith is still around (although she is admittedly hot -- even if she is the "*N Sync Girl"), what Jennifer Love Hewitt and especially Lacey Chabert is doing on the list.

What about Elisha Cuthbert!?

Try Mr. Renee Zellweger on for size

How long do you think this one will last, considering they met January of this year (so I'm told from a somewhat reliable source)?

Late news, but still good news.

Dolce vs. Gabbana

This just in from The New York Post:
... Jennifer Lopez, John Travolta and Kelly Preston, Oprah Winfrey, Gisele Bundchen and Naomi Campbell boycotted the Costume Institute gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on Monday night after their hosts, fashion designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, had a fit over the placement of their table. Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson, who did attend the event, ended up in tears after her dress zipper got stuck.

I'm envisioning this whole thing as a black and white silent movie from the '20s. Can't you just hear the funny music, D&G rolling and roughing each other up on the floor, celebrities leaving -- one by one -- and then ... and THEN ... Jessica getting her zipper stuck and bursting into a ball of Lucille Ball tears in the midst of all the calamity.

I love it.

Seventeen magazine has magical powers ...

This from ExtraTV.com:

NEW YORK - Hollywood's newest couple — Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes — may strike some as unlikely, but the match was foretold in Seventeen magazine.

"I think every little girl dreams about (her wedding)," Holmes told Seventeen in October. "I used to think I was going to marry Tom Cruise."

Earlier this week, publicists for both actors confirmed the two had been dating for a few weeks. They have been photographed in Rome, where Cruise received a lifetime achievement award Friday at the David di Donatello Awards, the Italian equivalent of the Oscars.

When asked by a reporter for syndicated entertainment show "Extra" about Holmes' suddenly realized dream, Cruise replied, "I don't want to disappoint her."

Cruise, 42, wouldn't divulge how he met the 26-year-old Holmes, but said it was "like a dream" to have her with him for the awards ceremony.

"She's such an extraordinary woman," said Cruise. "It's beautiful. I feel really happy. I'm more than enamored." The interview was to air Friday night.

Coincidence, or cause of breakup? Hmm. I guess that's for Katie to know and us to find out.