No bravery, no sympathy.

Tim Rice-Oxley of the British band Keane had this to say about Paris Hilton, after having appeared on Saturday Night Live when Paris hosted last year: "I basically have three enduring memories of that experience. First, her stupid little dog kept running into our dressing room and we kept on booting it out, and second, she had a man, a security guard, whose only job was to carry her dog around. The other one was that she was completely unable to pronounce the name of our band. They had to dress-rehearse, like, six times: 'Ladies and gentlemen, Keanie!' Just on and on. I mean, there's no reason she should know who we are, but it's not that difficult ... And at the end, when we had the big sort of group hug, in my attempt to be kind of cool about the thing, I trod on her foot." I would like to extend my personal gratitude to this man for representin'.

Christina Aguilera announced that her next album will be titled "Back to Basics" and will be released on August 15th. It's a "modern take on vintage jazz, soul and blues from the 1920s, ‘30s and ‘40s" and features "Ain't No Other Man," her first single, which she will premiere at the MTV Movie Awards on June 8th. I prefer Christina to Britney, but this just brings me back to Britney premiering "I'm A Slave For You" at the MTV Video Music Awards. I can't help it!

And some Laguna news, at last. Alex Murrel's MySpace is reporting a June 13th release of the Season Two DVD set, as well as her debut album, although Lauren Conrad's site is still reporting a July 25th release of the set. Lauren's website has been revamped to prepare for the premiere of The Hills. It looks just as sketchy as it did before. Boo.

I don't normally do this, but these are just too cute to pass up. Some photos of the delightfully good-looking Stephen Colletti with girlfriend Hayden Panettiere, courtesy of the stalkers at The Real O.C. boards ;).

Jessica Simpson's "longtime" personal assistant and best friend CaCee Cobb has quit. She celebrated with Jessica at Morton's in Los Angeles, where Jessica is said to have toasted, "You are my best friend. I will be your best friend forever." Hmm. Unless she's a hundred percent sure of that, I think she meant, "I hope I will be your best friend forever."

Billy Bush, host of Access Hollywood, recently blogged about Lindsay Lohan. He said that, "She came, the interview went decently, and I left realizing this about her: She is very tainted by press interviews and now instinctively feels like everybody's out to get her. She's been through a lot for a 19-year-old... one who made almost 8 million dollars for her current film, 'Just My Luck.' One step towards getting press people to lay off might be to keep them in the dark about how much money you're making - it only makes you less real and harder to truly accept." Mmm. No. Still no sympathy here, although I completely agree with him.

Seriously ... who isn't against Lindsay these days? When she appeared on TRL several days ago, her poor publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnick threw a fit backstage just moments before Lindsay was to appear on camera, demanding to switch VJ Vanessa Minnillo for Damien Fahey. Unfortunately, the show went on with Vanessa hosting -- with supposedly awkward conversation, "unwelcome mic jabbing" and "Lindsay's accusatory tone." And unfortunately for Ms. Sloane Zelnick, she represents both women.