[Photo courtesy of WireImage.com]Plans were cancelled last night and I found myself watching Camp Rock on ABC. Yes, you heard it here first – not only did I watch a Wonderful World of Disney presentation, but I am admitting it here: I do not have cable and was subjected to low-grade Disney.
But nevermind. The three-hour long exposure to The Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato spurred me to catch up on what goes on in tweeny and teeny land. Let’s start with a paragraph-long “review” of Camp Rock:
The hottest male teen sensation plus the inexplicable High School Musical formula do not a success make. The acting was superbly terrible, as is expected of Disney Channel productions these days. I’m beginning to think that the director probably shouts “bigger, bigger, overact!” through his or her proverbial megaphone so the tweenies will “get it”. Because Zac Efron has acting chops, but HSM 1, 2 and likely 3 give little indication of that. Anyway, the hype surrounding Camp Rock has built up enough to propel Demi Lovato into superstardom in the Radio Disney realm – plus, she’s cute enough and has a good enough voice. Most atrocious was Meaghan Jette Martin’s performance which, unlike Ashley Tisdale’s Sharpay Evans, was one-dimensional and lacked vulnerability in parts that desperately needed it. Joe Jonas’s star, unfortunately, will not be hurt by his terrible acting job (or by his terribly squeaky voice, while we’re at it) and Disney will continue to believe that as long as a cute male teen idol is involved, any Cinderella formulaed-production will work.
Moving on. Why is it that Disney dominates the teen scene so much more than it did when I was a teen? This monopolization of pop culture frightens me. Did Nickelodeon go down with Jamie-Lynn Spears? Vanessa Hudgens defended boyfriend Zac Efron in Newsweek magazine against the rumors that Zac showers sparingly. ZEfron, according to STV.tv, likes curvy girls: “I don’t know the exact measurements but I like curvy girls – girls with hips. I’m also huge on legs. I love girls with nice, long, sexy legs.” Not good enough to explain why he’s “with” Vanessa.
David Archuleta attended last night’s premiere of Pixar’s Wall-e, sporting a trendy-borderline-grandfatherly hat – probably to hide the fact that he is in dire need of a haircut. That’s news, if his being homeschooled and his MySpace blogs make headlines. Also there was a newly-brunette Katie Cassidy (maybe it’s not new, but I haven’t been paying much attention since she and Jesse McCartney called it quits). What is she up to these days, aside from aging quite rapidly?
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