"You went down a really bad path."

People magazine basically confirmed that Lauren Conrad and My Boys’ Kyle Howard are a couple. Apparently the two were hanging out at Teddy’s over the weekend, and she was seen draping herself over him, “sharing pecks on the lips and looking ‘so happy’”. Wow, Teddy’s is really, really three years ago. I love Kyle as Bobby, but even I know that there’s no getting him into Coco de Ville or whichever hotspot is at the peak of its fifteen minutes right now.

Hayden Panettiere’s father got himself in trouble for abusing his wife. This does not in the least bit surprise me; as bubbly and wholesome as Hayden (etc) comes across, there’s still some stigma attached to her by the mere virtue of her having come from Rockland County-Westchester, New York.

One week till Season Four of The Hills. I’m actually not that excited about it, as I think the Lauren-Heidi storyline has been maxed out, I don’t think Speidi could get much worse, I’m tired of watching Lauren “date” guys, and I’m already sick of Stephanie Pratt’s face. Not particularly interested in Audrina move beyond Justin Bobby, but I’m surprisingly curious about what Whitney’s love life has in store for her.

In an ideal world, Audrina would grow some balls and do something really wild that doesn’t involve her taking off her shirt. Lauren would trip over her Louboutins, requiring reconstructive surgery and a huge blow to her ego so she can finally get over herself. Speidi would marry and would turn into a Stepford couple, albeit a relatively normal one, and Whitney would become the star of the show and show them twenty-something girls how to balance it all and look great while doing so!

Alas, all we have is this:

[Courtesy of YouTube user “B0NZENMiKE”]
The music isn't even worthy. C'mon, MTV.