So boring ...

Wow. If there ever was a dead day, this is it.

These are the juiciest bits I could muster up:

Danny and Melinda of this past season of The Real World (Austin) are engaged. Cute. Johanna and Wes are dating exclusively. Not so cute.

... and there are rumors circulating that Kristin Cavallari has dropped out of college because she's too busy working on her career. Hmm ... so she decided to stop showing up to her one acting class at LMU? Interesting. [Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards]

And I thought it was Hilary ...

Laguna Beach news ... it's funny that the show's ended and still I manage to find some bits here and there every so often. I guess the biggest one is that Kristin Cavallari has landed herself a host gig for a new UPN reality show called "Get This Party Started." She'll be hosting the party-planning reality show alongside Extra's Ethan Erickson. According to The Futon Critic, Kristin's "been acting since the age of 7, and has appeared in numerous commercials and ad campaigns." Oh really? [Photos courtesy of The Real O.C. boards and The New York Post's Page Six. I think K. Cav and Brody are my new Jess and Nick.]

Laguna's Dieter Schmitz is getting ready for his Tijuana to Laguna Beach run on December 18th. On his MySpace blog, he brought up a couple of things that might be of interest: Travel every weekend for the charity ... its been way fun to chill again with jess on these ... Single right now, its nearly impossible to try for anything while your on the road so much ... I'm just a narley jealous boy friend so for now its just all about chilling and having fun and working on getting that cut, its not a good quality at all my major flaw for sure. Def dont want to make the same mistake twice ...

Lost touch/cut ties with a certain chica friend which really sucks especially coming up to this run. Its been really sad to see how fast certain people can sell out for some cash and drop all their friends from their past for someone. It just has made me realize a lot and I kind of finally belive that having some reality show and fame can make people forget all of their friends from the past. TO me I never thoguht it would happen, just seems way to shallow and sad. I know I would never put my family and friends behind anything I do. it has really shocked and bummed me out. . I just dont know how that can happen and the only way I deal with it is to forget it, assume the whole last years of being good friends was only cause they needed it, untill they had a show and some "fame". I just regret backing, regret trusting. To have somone you consider a best friend bail so easily is a bitch slap in the face and is really really sad. Its not somthing you can forgive or ever forget about. You really learn who your true friends are though this process. You see who really cares and who only cares about fame. Thats been the best lesson through this whole time. but hey i wish her the best of luck and hope maybe the first time was just a fluke and that eveyrthing ends of happily ever after. im not holding my breath.

First of all, Dieter needs to learn how to spell some of his surfer slang. It's "gnarly," not "narley." Secondly, dude, what did L.C. do to you, bro, to deserve this to be made so public and under no uncertain terms that it is, in fact, Lauren Conrad who we are talking about here? Yikes!

So ... E! bought The Simple Life, except it's got a whole new twist -- it's competition reality TV! Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton will take turns playing wife to a family, and the family will then decide which of the two socialites "wins." Great. Another reason for Paris to hate Nicole.

Speaking of E!, I had no idea (especially since I'm on this side of the pond) that Gastineau Girls was up for a second season! Season two starts tonight at 10 p.m. Let me know how it goes!

And lastly, shocker of the year ... Ali, this one's for you. According to "Oh No They Didn't!", Devon Sawa was arrested for abusing his girlfriend. The source also says that he is a serious drug abuser. Nooo ... "Can I keep you?"

Crazytalk.

I would like to retract my speculation about the status of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's relationship last night. I checked "Oh No They Didn't" several hours after I'd posted the photo, and someone had set the record straight -- it's a photo from, like, two weeks ago. But I held off on retracting the statement right away because ...

... I knew today was going to be a slow day (and I was too lazy). But thanks for the tip, Alex!

The New York Post is saying that Lindsay Lohan and Johnny Knoxville were "spotted getting very friendly" at the Chateau Marmont in L.A. "They were really close, walking together through the bungalows by the pool." Yay ... I'm not too up on my Johnny Knoxville trivia, but doesn't he have a wife?

And ... LL "trying on engagement rings." Were they even engagement rings? Or was she just playing us? I know I would if I were her ... [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

TomKat's having a boy. She was spotted buying mounds of blue-colored baby clothes from Petit Bateau. Sorry if you didn't want to know, but if it makes you feel any better, I still don't think (believe) it's actually happening. Yeah, so what, I'm in denial. It's true of a lot of things, especially the Nick and Jessica ordeal.

And in revealing that Jessica Simpson is doing fine, Star magazine seemed also to reveal that her little sister Ashlee is dating ... Ray Brady of her band??? Since when?

And apparently, Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling's relationship takes on a Kirsten-and-Jake sort of trajectory -- on and off. And according to sources, it's now off.

Well, well, well.

Just when I thought every member of Young Hollywood was engaged or about to be engaged, Talan Torriero and Kimberly Stewart did the inevitable -- they called theirs off. They said in a joint statement that "[i]t was just too soon to enter into a lifelong commitment ... It is better to have a brief engagement than a short marriage. The couple continue to share their time together and remain open to whatever the future may hold." [Photo courtesy of WireImage]

Er, no kidding.

Another Laguna Beach rumor "confirmed." Season Three "cast member" Candace told someone on The Real O.C. boards that "... or now, in case any of you were wondering- season 3 of lb is going to be put on hold for a little while because after people saw the preview everybody sent emails apparently and were like "ew i dont want to see those little freshmen! they look boring and so fake" um we are all juniors. acutally kelan is a senior though but for the most part we are all juniors. and we aren't fake. but whatever."

I'm kind of on the fence about this. I don't think MTV would waste the money to set up a crew, film, and hype up a production if they didn't intend on pulling through with it. But at the same time, that was kind of the reaction last season -- "Ew, I don't want to watch a whole new cast ... I don't care about Kristin! Bring LC back!" So ... we'll see what happens. I think MTV should go through with it whether or not the fans think they want it right now. Chances are they'll be hooked in no time.

Lastly, a photo of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson chillin' on Thanksgiving Day, in Cincinnati (aka Nick's hometown), looking not-so-glum! Although another photo stock company (paparazzi) hinted that Jess would be returning to Texas for Thanksgiving. But is there a chance America's favorite popstar couple will reunite? I guess we'll have to stay tuned ... [Photo courtesy of Oh No They Didn't!]

More engagements.

Whatever happened to me ragging on celebrities because they got into car accidents or said stupid things? It seems like all I ever talk about now is how so-and-so is engaged to so-and-so.

This post, I'm afraid, will not be any different.

Rumor has it that three-quarters of The O.C. stars who matter are engaged. Just decided now. They must've had a meeting or something.

The most publicized one is the one between Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler. I think Cisco's trying to set some sort of personal record with the number of engagements he can call off by the time he turns thirty.

Secondly, Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody. Not counting on this one (at least not yet), but a recent paparazzi "photo shoot" was captioned as "soon to be engaged." [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

Well here's a little deviation from all those annoying engagement rumors ... Paris Hilton's ex and current guy got in a scuffle at Privilege after the AMAs. Apparently Latsis and Stavros were yelling at each other, and Stavros was drunk off his rocker, and "puked everywhere." Nice image. For the record, TEAM LATSIS, right here!

A Very Black Friday.

I was checking Ryan Gosling's IMDB profile, and apparently he's doing Fashionistas!? Someone must've gotten extremely bored and decided to pull a prank on IMDB users, because they listed Jake Gyllenhaal as the only other cast member. Wasn't Lindsay Lohan signed up to do this movie a while back? Why isn't her name on the cast list? There's no way Ryan would sacrifice his pride or career achievements to do a movie based on a chick lit novel! (And if he does, then I'll be the first one in line to see this! Jakey and Ryan in the same movie!? Heaven.) [Photo courtesy of The United States of Gosling]

So ... Talan Torriero thinks that his fiance Kimberly Stewart has helped him mature a lot. And he was the one who proposed. Somehow that last part seems especially fishy, since I don't think (and this is all personal speculation so don't jump on me for saying it) that he'd have the guts to do it -- she is, afterall, seven years older than him and Rod Stewart's daughter. Still think it's a publicity stunt and no one's officially engaged to anyone. Although engagements in and of themselves aren't really official, anyway.

Speaking of publicity stunts, I'm still hoping against hope that the whole Nick and Jess thing will fix itself. Is there any chance that it's a stunt to raise The Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica: The Final Season sales, which comes out December 6th? Probably not, but a girl can dream ...

The Realities of Laguna Beach

Alright, nothing new to report after the devastating early-morning update. But I dug this E! story on Laguna Beach, so I shall share all the juicy bits.

Jessica, Alex M. and Alex H. are supposedly "definitely returning" for Season Three. I don't really believe that -- especially not the Jessica and Alex H. part, since Jessica seems to be ... I don't know, ready to not be on TV, and Hooser's just Kristin's sidekick anyway.

And according to E's insider sources, the real reason Kristin and Alex H. no longer live together isn't Brody Jenner. Alex H. left to live with Alex M. in "another posh L.A. building ... that happens to be one of Kristin's dad's developments." Things took a turn for the bad because "Kristin insisted that everything be about her, expecting Alex to be on call. The last straw went down at a San Diego event for Dieter's charity, when Alex refused to drive Kristin back to L.A. early for an audition." What do I think? I think that that's probably a bit of an exaggeration. It may be true that Kristin's always been the queen bee, but I really can't see her forcing Alex to do anything. But hey, dynamics change ... especially when one becomes rip-roaringly famous.

A source says that "Promoters are constantly calling [Stephen, Dieter and Jason] and sending them to different L.A. clubs every night of the week. Jason is always getting kicked out of clubs for getting into fights...He's wrecked a lot of cars, too. That's why you always see him driving different ones on the show." Apparently, the same is true for Stephen. Who knew! [Photo courtesy of stephencolletti.com]

And Lauren has supposedly "cut ties with every other cast member except Jason, whom she's still dating." You'd think that she'd still be friends with Stephen, but rumor has it that she and Kristin actually made up over the summer -- before Stephen pulled a Stephen and hooked up with both of them. Again.

And MTV's pulling an Ashlee Simpson -- for The Hills, they've been filming the exteriors of a place in Hollywood Hills, playing it off as if Lauren and Heidi actually live there, when, in fact, they live in "an apartment by L.A. shopping complex the Grove!"

And the E! correspondent shared a few "blind items":

According to one spy, these cast members are "supposed go to events [to promote themselves], but if they even show up in time for the red carpet, they're too wasted to pose for pictures."

[Photo courtesy of chicago-scene.com]
My guess? Either Talan or Alex Murrel, but I'm leaning towards Alex. It definitely helps that I heard somewhere before that she's been kicked out of a couple of afterparties ...

[Another] cast member has been in and out of rehab many times, which is also the reason he or she wasn't even around for the first season of the show. This cast member got into a knock-down, drag-out fight with a cast member of the opposite sex, bashing his or her head against a wall.

Jason. Without a doubt. I'm just wondering who the cast member of the opposite sex is ... but that's just rude, bashing a girl's head against the wall! The only person I can think of who'd take it is Jessica, of course, but I'm secretly hoping it was Casey ;).

End of an Era.

If it weren't for me slaving away at my NaNoWriMo story and talking to a friend I haven't seen since the eighth grade, I wouldn't have known of the sad news until tomorrow morning.

I was hoping I wouldn't ever have to say this, but ...

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey Announce Separation To Us Weekly 10pm EST

November 23, New York — A month after Us Weekly first reported on the breakup of Newlyweds Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, the couple has jointly announced an official separation. 'After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways,' the couple tells Us in an exclusive joint statement. 'This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time.' Us Weekly first reported the couple’s split in its October 17 issue; at that time, Lachey's publicist issued a denial of an official separation. Just last week, Lachey partied alone with pals in Miami, on November 22, he attended the American Music Awards without his wife, one day after the New York Post reported that a porn star was peddling a seamy story about her night with Lachey (Lachey's attorney has denied any impropriety). Tellingly, at the AMAs, Simpson's father Joe Simpson told an Us reporter of his daughter's ongoing media scrutiny, 'We are Simpsons, we take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.'

The telegenic couple wed in Austin, Texas in October 2002 in front of 250 guests. 'You don't think it's possible to love the man you're looking at any more. But when you say 'I do,' you somehow end up loving him even more,' Simpson told Us in October of 2004. 'When I walked down the aisle it was like Romeo and Juliet.' The duo became international celebrities by televising their first years of marriage on MTV's Newlyweds. While the show was wildy successful and the duo reaped the benefits of their newfound fame — both released albums and Jessica, who earned $35 million last year, landed a starring role in 2004's Dukes of Hazzard (in contrast, Nick's solo debut, only a paltry 105,000 copies)— reports of trouble have dogged the relationship since the second season of Newlyweds. During the filming of Dukes of Hazzard in the fall of 2004 the couple were apart for months as Simpson stayed onset in Lousiana while Lachey continued to live in Los Angeles. 'We knew when we got married that we both had aspirations in our professional lives,' Lachey told Us in December 2004. 'Some of those dreams are coming true and it means we’re not always together.'

I'm sad. If the two idiots hadn't done The Newlyweds, their relationship would've never been strained. But then again, we probably wouldn't have cared.

I'm going to go mourn their relationship now. Ain't no one gonna love Jessica like Nick did.

Young Hollywood at its best

Big news for all anorexics out there -- the tried-and-true Lindsay Lohan diet! According to Oh No They Didn't!, she shares her crazy dieting secrets: "My doctor was like 'Are you anorexic? Are you making yourself throw up?'" -- But she says "It was just a crazy diet: nothing but cantaloupe, fruit juice and water, plus a 2-hour workout, 7 days a week.'" -- By the time she got down to 99, she was no longer taking in enough nutrients to sustain herself -- she really did have to go to the hospital (a lot of stars just do it for attention) -- she says "Not me. I nearly died. When I see pictures of myself, I looked like a starving refugee. Not an attractive sight. What was I thinking?" [Photo courtesy of Getty Images]

Still backwards, but at least she's admitting she was way too thin. She actually didn't start looking like a rail until after she landed herself in the hospital. Does she think we don't remember this!? It was only a year ago ...

And the man Lohan considered marrying just a few short weeks ago, "The One"? Jared Leto was spotted flirting heavily with a blonde at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas recently. Well ... at least Lohan's got her cantaloupe if she ever needs someone to lean on.

John Mayer tells Extra that Hilary Duff can lean on him any day. Sort of: "I had this Hilary Duff dream where we were hanging out at this pool, and she was using me as a pool chair, just chilling on me. In my dream I said to her, 'You have to get off me, we do different things.' I couldn't even have fun in my dream!" Hilary is quickly becoming the older man's dream girl, isn't she?

Britney Spears has finally decided to release photos of her, hubby Kevin Federline and baby Sean Preston Federline to People magazine. Scary, but I can really see Kevin in the poor baby. [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

More of the Paris Hilton-Kelly Osbourne debacle: Paris' boy-toy Stavros Niarchos is giving Kelly a gift of a luxury car to make up for all the damaged he caused at her twenty-first birthday. Wonder what Kelly's gonna complain about now ...

For those keeping track, Ryan Cabrera's now dating Lisa of The Veronicas. Yeah, didn't think you were.

Avril Lavigne signed a modeling contract with Ford Models!? At 5'1'', I'm sure she'd make a stupendous petite model, if they even do that anymore. This whole thing's kind of backwards ...

Laguna Beach's Talan Torriero speaks to Teen People about his engagement to Kimberly Stewart. "I'm absolutely in love. I'm at a loss of words. Not like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes jumping on tables, but I can honestly say I've never been happier ... I'm a spontaneous person. I didn't know what love was until I met Kim. If I pick up on a feeling, I kind of go with it." [Not sure who this photo belongs to ... I'm slipping up on my professionalism again, I know. Sorry! But Talan looks thrilled that Kimberly's showing off her ring, ha.]

Lauren Conrad admitted that "It was a little shocking. I didn't think it was true, but whatever ... Talan's a crazy kid, he lives a crazy life. I love him and I wish him the best." (Aww ... makes me want to cry!) Jason Wahler, ever the mood-killer, said, "I'm happy for him. I know he really likes her, but I think it's too soon."

Talan says, "I'm quite nervous. It's a whole new chapter of my life, but her family is amazing and my family loves her, too." In terms of Kim's famous daddy, Rod, Talan says he's "got all the Christmas albums ... But yeah, there's more I have to know now. But he's a great guy. We watch a lot of soccer together ... Our families are actually doing Thanksgiving dinner together with the mayor in downtown LA."

As for a wedding date, Talan remains tight-lipped: "I can't say when. We could get married tomorrow or we could do it next year. Like I said I'm a spontaneous guy."

"... Ask any of the girls [on Laguna Beach], I've been talking about marriage since, like, ninth grade." Yes, Talan, but that was Taylor you were talking about. Innocent, cute, bubbly little Taylor Cole!

Laugh At Paris Day

Rumors and shooting down of rumors on Season Three of Laguna Beach.


[Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards. Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari having lunch yesterday in Malibu.]

An article written by an "Associated Press Writer" claims that MTV has postponed, indefinitely, production of Season Three after "recieving [yes, "recieving." Forget that "the 'i' comes after 'e', except after 'c'."] multitudes of negative emails and phone calls." A surface search of recent news on my part turned up with no such article. Not to mention that Ms. Shelley K. Wong, the hypothetical "Associated Press Writer," threw her knowledge of journalistic punctuation and basic spelling out the window in writing this fantastic article. And why would the AP even be on this story!? A The Real O.C. message board poster says that she messaged Candace, a provisional Season Three cast member, who assured her that filming had not been called off.

MTV.com is reporting that Talan Torriero's album will be finished by the end of this week -- and he has wrapped on his first film project, Driftwoods, in which he plays Yates, a security guard! Who "beats on the kids"! Like Ricky Ullman, who's actually older than Talan ... I can't see how Talan would even pass for a non-kid ...

Now onto the laughing stock of the decade, Paris Hilton.

She says that "I believed in Santa Claus until I was 17 when some mean person told me it wasn't true ... When my sister and I were kids we used to get up at 6am but now I'm a little lazy so I get up at 11." Were kids? As in seventeen, when you still believed in Santa?

Her Christmas 2005 wishlist, according to Shop, Etc.: a silver Bentley GT convertible, a pair of $520 Jimmy Choo sandals, and a pair of $220,000 diamond earrings. "I never was really into jewelry but now I'm so immature - I want more diamonds."

Kelly Osbourne -- suddenly kind towards Paris!? She comments on Miss Hilton: "She was one of the few people who were willing to drop everything and come to my party… We have fun together. I know that whatever I tell her, she tells everyone anyway, but I've always known she's not the friend that you tell your deepest secrets to. She's a fun person, and there is sincerity about her ... Paris paid for her own ticket [to my party]. Every other celebrity who is supposedly my friend said they wanted to go on the private jet and have their own [hotel] suite." But then there's Kelly complaining again, in an underhanded way.

So ... Paris wants to do a rap album!? I'm sooo confused. As far as I'm concerned, she's working with the likes of Snoop Dogg, Jadakiss and Fat Joe, but no one said she was rapping ... well, until now. Although she took violin lessons as a child, she told Blender that "I'm not going to be onstage playing the violin. That would be gay."

But back on the female-Eminem topic ... Have you seen her dance!? She's as White as they come ...

Laguna indigestion

[Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards; Talan Torriero (far left) with younger brother and friend]

According to Page Six, Laguna Beach's Talan Torriero has been misbehaving of late: Somebody please inform Kimberly Stewart's fiance‚ that his 15 minutes of fame are almost up. Guests at soul singer Omarion's 21st birthday at The Lobby in L.A. last week were agog when "Laguna Beach" reality nuisance Talan Torriero walked in and demanded to walk the press line. Our spy laughed, "No one was really interested and Talan kept insisting that nobody could ask him about the car crash he was in when Stavros Niarchos was driving the week before. That would be the only reason they would talk to him. There were no takers."

And the Laguna Beach book signing I alluded to yesterday? Turns out both Kristin Cavallari and Alex Murrel were supposed to show up as well, but canceled.

This is the gratitude they show to the people who made them big!? Thanks a lot, biznatches.

Slow weekend.

Laguna Beach's Talan Torriero and Lauren Conrad at a book signing yesterday, to promote the new Laguna Beach book. He looks happier with Lauren than he does with Kimberly. Long live Talberly. [Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards]

Congratulations to Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, who wedded last night in the Napa Valley in California! Looks like this may just be the one that lasts ...


Our favorite couple, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, out and about. [Courtesy rachelmcadams.org]

Rich kids have all the fun.

Mary-Kate Olsen sure cleans up good. It seems as if she's "recovered" from anorexia and recovered her former boyfriend, David Katzenberg. [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

Kelly Osbourne is steaming mad. She's claiming that Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos lied -- he was, in fact, the one who "ruined [her] 21st birthday." The whiny Osbourne went on to complain: "It's so unfair. The manager tried to make me pay for it, but I was having none of it. I said no bloody way because I didn't do it. Stavros caused the damage, so he can pay. He has enough money - he's a millionaire with too much spare cash. He's a rich kid and they don't appreciate anything because they grow up with it all. I find it really annoying." C'est la vie, babes.

So ... Paris' pet monkey "Baby Luv"? Smuggled in, illegally. Paris is being ordered to give it up. PETA made a personal attack on Paris: "It seems Paris thinks animals are as disposable as friends and fiancés." Touché.

Random Hookup Week

So the "details" are in ...

Talan Torriero's rep says Talan's been dating Kimberly Stewart for two months, while Us Weekly reports that they've been at it for one week. Us goes onto say that they'd planned to fly to Vegas and marry immediately, but "got cold feet." [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org. Oh, don't look so glum, Talan. She's got a rich and famous daddy!]

People quotes one of Talan's friends as saying, "He told me he really likes her and they're having a good time." Was that day two or day thirteen of the relationship? Because if that was day thirteen, I'd be a little concerned.

Page Six reports that "Talan's mother is hysterically crying. She is not happy ... They are getting their paperwork together to get married in Vegas this weekend. They want to do it right away."

Talan got Kimberly a five-carat diamond ring, which Kimberly is quick to say is "[a]lmost too big." Well, hopefully it's real, and hopefully she didn't have to buy it for herself.

As devoted as a fan of Laguna Beach as I am, I was a little appalled to find headlines such as "Laguna's Talan Torriero to wed Rod Stewart's daughter." Since when was Talan more famous than Kimberly Stewart!? It's just all a little too weird. This has publicity stunt written all over it.


And a little bit of side news for Laguna fans -- it's official, Jessica Smith and Dieter Schmitz are back together! Or are at least hooking up ... [Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards]

Speaking of hookups, it seems as if Nicky Hilton has been getting her fair share from Mischa Barton's ex, Brandon Davis. According to Softpedia, the two were seen kissing at the Victoria's Secret fashion show the other night. Even though he's reportedly dating a new girl named Pamela, and Nicky's still with Kevin Connolly. Who knows ...

And contrary to what I said last night, it seems as if Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos have not broken up. Turns out that it was Stravos' double who started the pillow fight afterall. Bummer.

New York's Daily News is reporting that Aaron Carter is trying to get out of his contract with the scary mogul Lou Pearlman before he turns eighteen next month, despite the fact that he's only completed one of the five-album deal. Ole Louie denied the rumor, saying, "Other people try to go after him like they would try to do with any artist ... We have a great relationship that started when he was 7 years old." Seeing how Michael Jackson has become the Pariah of the Year, I wouldn't have added that last bit.


According to an interview that Ashlee Simpson did prior to one of her shows, a man standing in line behind her at the Toronto McDonald's called her gross, then asked for a picture when Ashlee turned around. She admitted that she did some things that were not so savoury, but reasoned that everyone does stupid things sometimes. Right click to download the full interview. [Photo courtesy of ashleemedia.net]

Life and Style Weekly says that Jessica Simpson wanted to throw Nick a wondiferous birthday party, but he told her to "Do what you want, but leave me out of it." Jessica took heed, but decided to throw a smaller party for him instead. Apparently it didn't go so well -- a friend told the magazine that "Nick's in a bind. How can you divorce a woman who won't acknowledge there's a problem?"

Maybe there isn't a problem!

Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head ...

No such luck. Still going strong. (See previous post.)

I've been forgetting to mention this. Laguna Beach's Stephen Colletti's middle name is, apparently -- August! Hahahahaha ... and his birthday is February 7th, according to a fake ID he lost, which seemed to have gotten all his other info correct. [Photo courtesy of wireimage.com]

And I finally watched the trailer for The Hills, and how jealous am I that Lauren Conrad got to meet Anna Wintour AND Anna didn't scowl at her!? Grr.

Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos (the Third) -- dunzo? A source told Star that "They broke up Nov 13. Stavros told Paris that things are out of control and he's through with the drama. He said to her, 'I need time to reflect. I should have been home today studying, instead I am here paying $100,000 worth of bills.'"

Ha, don't blame Paris for that one ...

While I was too busy caring about Laguna Beach, Brangelina became an official couple. Rumor has it that they've signed a pre-nup, and they've made plans to marry at George Clooney's Italian villa on December 1st.

And yeah -- Mischa Barton's nipple slip. Who cares, except for the people at the FCC, who are either laughing greedily about their "find," or getting exceptionally excited. It's not like it hasn't happened before. [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

WTF!?

Hello, good morning. Talan Torriero and Kimberly Stewart are engaged.

ET has confirmed that KIMBERLY STEWART is engaged to "Laguna Beach" cast member TALAN TORRIERO. The 26-year-old daughter of rocker ROD STEWART recently split from "Girls Gone Wild" producer JOE FRANCIS. She was previously engaged to musician CISCO ADLER back in autumn of 2004. No word yet on a wedding date for Kimberly and Talan.

Please tell me it's a joke. Or that Kim will turn around and say "Ha ha, gotcha!" by the time I write my formal post for the day.

He's not worth it!

Things aren't going so well for Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush. According to an employee of a restaurant the cast of One Tree Hill had a party at, "You could hear them from where else was hanging out ... Every time someone would walk by, they got kind of quiet until the person walked away, and then they would start right back up." Another source told Inside TV that "They don't talk at all unless they're acting. They might say 'hey' or 'what's up,' but even then you know it's tense."

People are talking. And they're saying that Laguna Beach's Talan Torriero and Kimberly Stewart don't just have a girl and gay best friend type of relationship going on. They're the real deal. According to Celebrities.com, Talan and Kim ate at Koi on November 15th, and then resurfaced at Element, holding hands. Apparently Talan's ex-hook up Lindsay Lohan as well as Kristin Cavallari and her current boyfriend Brody Jenner were all there. Dude, this is stuff the MTV crew should be capturing! [Photo courtesy of Celebrities.com]

Paris Hilton's current man Stavros Niarchos stirred up quite a ruckus at Kelly Osbourne's twenty-first birthday in Vegas' Hard Rock Hotel a couple of nights ago -- Stavros triggered a play pillow fight, which ended up costing him $100,000. A guest explained: "The carpet was coated with pillow feathers. Every lamp was broken." Apparently someone even threw a table at the ceiling, which broke the head of a sprinkler and flooded the room. The hotel had to be evacuated. Paris was overheard shouting, "I don't want Hard Rock to think I bring in people who do this stuff." But Paris and her people "insisted she and Stavros were asleep at the time." Paris sleeps?

According to Oh No They Didn't!, several blogs are reporting that they have received e-mails that Katie Holmes is in a Los Angeles hospital for having miscarried. This story keeps getting sadder ...

The Aftermath

Wait, wait -- hold off on the Laguna Beach talk. What!? Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman got married!??? I have to admit that I've been slacking on keeping with The Mraz and his uber-cool journal, but what!? I'm hoping "husband" is just an affectionate nickname Tristan calls him ... here is the incriminating evidence, courtesy of Tristan's MySpace.

In response to one of Tristan's photos featuring Mraz and three fans, which reads "My husband and our three kids," a fan commented:Tristan may have secretly married Mraz..but I think it's safe to say they don't have three kids together... Another comment to another photo of the pair reads, screw nick and jessica. screw britney and kevin. if TRISTAN AND JASON had a reality show, THAT would be worth watching....
"LOVE, LOVE, LOVE: MR. AND MRS. A-Z" or something to that extent. But apparently, another fan saw Jason in concert, twice, wearing a "TPISMYGF" ["Tristan Prettyman is my girlfriend"] t-shirt. Erm, I'm going to assume that the whole husband thing's a joke and quietly slip Mraz down to number eight on my personal list of most eligible bachelors.

SO. I had no idea yesterday when I secretly found out -- perhaps well ahead of most of America -- that Laguna Beach's Lauren Conrad would be, in fact, getting her own show that it would be of any interest to anyone. Was this the big surprise Kristin and Lauren had been alluding to? The only surprising thing about it is that people actually think The Hills will be good! They don't pay the MTV editing teams enough, I tell ya. Well, hey. Cute little Heidi Montag, L.C.'s new hot, blonde sidekick seems to have a head on her shoulders and a knack for having fun. If Lauren can't cut it, Heidi will. She knows where it's at. [Photo courtesy of Shine On Media]

The Multiple Personalities of Talan Torriero


And of course, there's Talan playing the role of gay best friend to none other than Ms. Kimberly Stewart ... nice. [Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards]

And Talan, tagalong to Paris Hilton. Y'know, now that I actually think about it (I try not to during waking hours. It hurts the brain.), it's actually quite amazing that Paris has managed to drag her fame out for this long. Afterall, she's famous for being famous. Anyway. Mood. Wednesday night. Paris, Stavros and their puppy Talan. Weird combination! What happened to Ryan Cabrera? Was he not hot enough for you, Talan?

According to a Swedish source, Nick Carter has revealed that he has a "secret video" of her from while they were dating. But this is a Backstreet Boy, so ... "We're singing a duet and I'd rather spare the audience from watching that." [Loosely translated, courtesy of Not-Like-You.com]

Paris Hilton has a pet monkey. And it bit her during a shopping trip this past Saturday. Serves you right for naming the thing "Baby Luv" and for making it endure hours of lingerie shopping. [Photo courtesy of Oh No They Didn't! ... P.S. that's not a monkey. It's one of Paris' dozens of other "exotic" pets.]

And this just keeps getting more and more frightening. Katie Holmes is expected to deliver a silent birth, another crazy Scientology quirk. Faded Youth notes that the doctrine holds "that children should be delivered in an atmosphere of total quiet, without any groans, screams, or sounds of pain from the mother, or even the audible exchange of information among hospital personnel." Give the woman a break! But -- one must question whether Ms. Katie will ever give birth to said baby at all -- her bump seemed to have magically disappeared this past weekend! [Photo courtesy of JJB]

Laguna, it was nice knowing you.

[Photo courtesy of celebweb.org]

In commemoration of the end of the Second Season (and my ten-page paper which awaits conclusion), here's a list of things Laguna has taught us, courtesy of the Boston Herald.

From hot tub rendezvous to two-timing boyfriends - that’s all you, Jason - these sun-kissed teens have taught viewers young and old a few things about life. To wit:

10. Parents exist to pay off credit card and cellphone bills and shall be neither seen nor heard.
9. Stalking a guy and stealing him from his girlfriend is OK. Blaming the ex when he goes back to her for a fling is even better. (That’s you, Alex.)
8. When accused of being a slut . . . admit it.
7. Guys with weird facial fuzz who can’t put together a full sentence are irresistible. (Jason, if you ever get tired of highlighting your hair, you have a future as mayor of Boston.)
6. Beware your boyfriend’s creepy best bud who seems way too interested in breaking up the two of you. (Why was Cedric so fixated on Jason’s love life? Did “Laguna Beach” actually miss a hookup?)
5. You can ruin your reputation without leaving the zip code.
4. It is possible to be a has-been at age 18.
3. Even if you look like Christine Taylor and Marcia Brady combined, you’ll have to settle for sloppy seconds and sometimes thirds (L.C.’s hot-and-cold romance with Stephen and then Jason - who hasn’t he been with?).
2. Reality TV and senior year equals no class - have we ever seen these kids pick up a book?
1. Team Kristin wins, hands down.

So long to the graduates of Laguna Beach ... Congratulations on not having mauled each other, and best of luck riding your fifteen minutes of fame.

To the rest of you: Get ready for Season Three, bitches!

Tom Cruise is officially off my Christmas list.

Paris Hilton's current boy-toy Stavros Niarchos got the two in yet another car accident. He was driving Paris' Range Rover on Friday afternoon when he hit a pothole and blew a tired. What's funny is Paris reportedly talked the paparazzi into giving her a lift to the airport. [Photo courtesy of Clasos. The photo is of Paris and Stavros at Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday party, not from the car accident.]

So Nine.com, a gambling site, is offering Lindsay Lohan a college scholarship should she attend NYU, maintain a 3.5 GPA and help promote the site's "Gambling Is for Fun Only" campaign. She doesn't need your money, but if I were her, I'd do it anyway. Afterall, gambling is for fun only.

So Jake Gyllenhaal, thank goodness, is not dating Jessica Simpson, but a salesgirl from the New York City Mayle boutique. He met her when -- gasp -- he was shopping for a present for Kirsten. The girl has gone buckwild and is telling everyone that the two are an item, but PerezHilton.com has advised us to remain skeptical.

Julia D. -- you were right. Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari, according to the newest issue of Us Weekly is enrolled at Loyola Maramount University and not the University of Southern California as both Kristin and I previously reported. I wonder what's going on there ...

And, of course, I've decided to hold this story off until now because I'm so sick of all the TomKat crap. But a friend of Katie Holmes told The Sun that "Katie has decided to give up acting altogether ... She's been telling friends that she and Tom have decided it is best she stays at home and brings up their new baby." She and Tom decided? Or Tom decided? Somebody free Katie, please! [Photo courtesy of JJB]

La La Loe ya, Ryan!

Oprah told ABC that she doesn't believe in the whole TomKat relationship. She said that the episode the two appeared on her show (yes, the one when Tom got up on the couch) seemed a little surreal to her: "It was wilder than it was appearing to me ... I was just trying to maintain the truth for myself because I couldn't figure out what was going on. And what I was prepared for was the dance that happens when you're doing celebrities — when you know they're not going to tell you, but you're going to ask anyway, and then you try asking another way ... I was not buying — not buying or not buying ... That's why I kept saying to 'you're gone, you're really gone.'"

A few quick bits about the Laguna Beach cast. LC called in and spoke to Carson Daly on the radio and said that she doesn't think she'll do the third season of Laguna because, like Kristin, she thinks it's just time to move on. According to a new In Touch article, Jason is at the City University of Los Angeles now -- and not Aquinas, which I have previously reported. A fan who saw a bunch of the Laguna cast in the Chicago Cheesecake Factory noted that it looks like Jessica and Dieter are back together, because they were kissing. But I guess you never can know with that Jessica ... [Photo courtesy of Courtney(?)'s Facebook]

Boo hoo -- it's been a long time coming: The WB announced that 7th Heaven, after this season will be no longer. This is its tenth season, and while it's still getting good ratings, it has become too expensive to produce. "Not many shows make it to 10 years and it's even rarer for a series to go out on top after 10 years," said executive producer Aaron Spelling. Too bad there's no hope of salvaging Beverly Mitchell's career ...

I have yet to step foot inside H&M since the new Stella McCartney line was unveiled, but according to Gawker, maybe it's best that I stay away. On opening day, there were lines to get in -- only to have racks empty by 10am. "[P]ushing, shoving, grabbing and yelling" were involved -- and a few H&M employees may have gotten hurt too. Even the mannequins were left bare naked, their clothing having been removed from them and purchased. Geez, Louise.

Parlux Fragrances is giving Tourneau the exclusive rights to sell a new line of watches created by none other than Paris Hilton. Parlux chairman said that the watches are white diamond-encrusted and will be distributed internationally, retailing at $100,000. Wowee. [Photo courtesy of celebweb.org. Yes, her shirt reads "He wants to sleep with me."]

Here's an exerpt from Nicole Richie's new fiction novel, The Truth About Diamonds:Simone, inarticulate to the point of mental incompetence, came off as aloof and mysterious on TV for some unknown reason. The camera loved Chloe, whose coke high read as girlish excitement. Ouch. Tell me that's not Paris and Nicole.


[Photo courtesy of Defamer]

And this is a photo someone took of the guestbook at Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis’s Casa Aramara estate in Puerto Vallarta. Apparently Lindsay Lohan had a little fun during her stay! I've never met L. Lo myself, but I can pretty much verify that that is her handwriting. Told ya she wants to marry every guy she meets!

Happy 25th birthday wishes to Glitteratini favorite Ryan Gosling!

The girls, they're crazy ...

Egotastic.com brings up a wild and crazy rumor -- Jessica Simpson on the arm of Jake Gyllenhaal!?

One of Paris Hilton's friends told Page Six that the 24-carat engagement ring Paris Latsis supposedly gave her was not real. "[Paris] bought it for herself ... It's a cubic zirconia! The ring Paris [Latsis] gave her was a much smaller one. She lied to Us Weekly about it and everyone picked it up." Classy.


Here's Sienna Miller trying to smack a paparazzo upside his head. And Jude finding amusement in it all, in the car. [Photos courtesy of Clasos]

Contactmusic.com says Mischa Barton is writing her own autobiography!? For a girl who seems like a relatively private/quiet person (save for the slobbering with ex-boyfriend Brandon Davis), this is quite the shocker ... she was also jokingly advised to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio by her publicist during a recent photoshoot in Malibu, to boost her career, says Softpedia.com. Mischa's response? “Isn't he, like, 30 or something?” Mischa. Isn't your current boyfriend, like, 29 or something? [Photo courtesy of mischa-b.com]

Contactmusic.com is also saying that Nicole Richie takes an easy blow at Paris Hilton in her new fiction book The Truth About Diamonds. In it, character Simone Westlake shares uncanny characteristics with Paris and does a couple of things Paris has been said to have done in recent years -- such as using the word "ni*ger," "boasting about having a strain of marijuana named after her" ("Paris always bragged about how she had a type of weed named after her back in high school," a friend told Inside TV magazine) and Simone apparently shares Paris' splitting image. So what about Nicole? Try the protagonist, "Chloe Parker" -- "a beautiful Los Angeles socialite with a rock star father." I don't think that's Kimberly Stewart.

To view a more detailed/complete video of Paris Hilton's car accident from a couple nights ago, click here. I believe Talan Torriero is in this version.

Hilary Duff's ready for a break -- and she looks it too. She tells Fashion 18 that she's had enough of people asking her about her teeth and her weight loss: "I try to be tough about it ... I don't care about such crap; it's so stupid when you read stuff like that ... I'm ready for a bit of a break ... but I feel like I've had so much opportunity and a lot of success, and I just feel grateful and lucky." She later said at the CosmoGirl! Born to Lead Awards that she's taking a month off: "I think it's the type of exhaustion that, like, one night of sleep doesn't fix, you know ... I was supposed to take September off for my birthday, but it didn't happen." She's putting Outward Blonde, her next film (which she was scheduled to do since 2003, if I recall correctly), on hold until after her break. [Photo courtesy of oh-hilary.com]

Aaron Carter, according to a response to a fan letter, has taken time off from touring to take "college classes (open learning)". Apparently, he'd cancelled some tour dates and his fans were pissed. But not so much anymore! They're happy he's so smart and think it's an honorable endeavour. I think it's a Big Fat Lie. He's so high he can't get his sh*t straight. In happier Carter family news, psycho-mom Jane Carter married some dude by the name of Holcomb in Reno, Nevada on November 2nd. Have fun with this one, Mr. Holcomb!

Creepiness abounds.

Not much interesting news today, which gives me the opportunity to share a bunch of random photos with you. But on with what little news there is ...

Green Day is in talks about making a film based on their album American Idiot and will "include plenty of references to their anti-George Bush themes." It's said to be a rock-opera styled movie, similar to The Who's 1969 movie Tommy. Billie Joe Armstrong spoke to MTV about casting: "They used musicians, so I guess we'd have to use musicians too," Armstrong joked. "Maybe we'll have, you know, Tim Armstrong come out as Whatsername [the central character of the final song] and we'll get the Madden brothers [Good Charlotte's Benji and Joel] to, I don't know, play some kind of schizophrenic character or something like that."

Remember the O.C. spin-off I wrote about earlier this year? Well, fortunately, producer Josh Schwartz took my advice and is instead bringing Kaitlin back home. But not without replacing actress Shailene Woodley with Mischa-lookalike Willa Holland. Ratings must be dropping, because fourteen-year-old Kaitlin returns to "wreak havoc, turn heads and introduce a darker, edgier element to the sun-drenched O.C.," says FOX. Willa, like Mischa Barton spent her early years in London, England. It's eerie how similar the two are -- Willa has Mischa's deep, deadpan voice. But Kaitlin's back, and the O.C.'s goin' down! [Photo courtesy of wireimage.com]

Alright. Now that that's all out of the way, here's the media ... starting with a clip pulled from last Monday's episode of Laguna Beach. For those of you who want to relive every second of Talan Torriero's horrendous performance and even put it on your iPod, here's your chance! Click here to download an audio clip of Somewhere Dead in Hollywood. [Courtesy of therealoc boards]


Don't tell me Jason Wahler was never on the Laguna Beach High School baseball team ... [Photo courtesy of therealoc boards]

A high school photo of My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way! Unbelievable!



A primary school photo of Kate Moss! Unbelievable!

A random photo from JJB of a guy who could be Paris Hilton's twin brother!



A photo of Paris' mom Kathy Hilton from back when she was sixteen and still Kathy Richards ... this and two other photos are up for sale on eBay. Like mother, like daughter, huh? [Photo courtesy of eBay user pierceandshelly]

Creepy!