The details come tumbling out ...

So the word on the street is that the criminal investigation that Ms. Paris Hilton will have to serve as a key witness in is against a twenty-eight year-old man named Riley, who was accused of "some big-time robberies." He was arrested in March for robbing Nicky and Paris' Hollywood home in 2004 and also the homes of other industry knowns.

And here I thought she'd witnessed some murder or something crazy like that. I should've known better -- we would've heard all the details straight from the horse's mouth!

In an upcoming A&E Biography episode on Paris, her family members speak about her past. Nicky and Paris' camera whoring aunt Kyle revealed the Paris was picked on in school: "There was jealousy and being picked on and I had to go down there a few times and straighten some people out because she was definitely picked on ... People would hear the last name and she was always a beautiful girl and that doesn't make for making a lot of friends with girls. She always had this attitude that she didn't care what people thought but she definitely did." Aunt Kyle thinks that Paris would make a wonderful mother: "She talks about wanting to be a mum. And all her animals are like her practicing. She will make a very good mum, very nurturing and she has good maternal instincts."

"Paris is like one of the best cooks you will ever meet. She is a neat freak. We live together and if I have dishes in the sink or clothes on the floor she will freak out," little sis Nicky went on to say. Hmm. I wonder how Paris and Nick Carter lasted so long ...

But poor Nicky won't be getting her own special -- all she got to do was criticize other "socialites": "My mother has always been very supportive of Paris and I and advising us to work. I don't understand these children who don't do anything. It is just very unfulfilling to me to just take your parents money and go shopping because you don't feel good about yourself."

Despite Nicky's criticisms, it comes back to bite her in the ass -- Mom and Dad are paying for rent, their cars and cell phone bills! Rick told A&E that "[i]n terms of the girls being able to support themselves they definitely can but what I do for them is that Kathy and I give them a monthly allowance which pays for their basics, their rent, their car payment and their cell phone bill which can be, depending on the month, quite large."

Do the Hiltons actually think this A&E special will make Paris any more credible!?

Our favorite cute little sweet teen idol Hilary Duff is beginning to shed -- along with the pounds -- her sweet image. She showed up at the premiere of Eon McKai's porno "Kill Girl Kill 3" at the former place to be seen on Monday nights in L.A., Joseph's. Publicist Sean Carnage (not her publicist, I don't think!) told AVN.com that "Hilary arrived with an entourage and sat at the side of the nightclub all night. At one point, Hilary asked two burlesque dancers to come over to her table and they did ... She never mingled with the guests, but did enjoy dinner, drinks and the music." Maybe Hilary thought it was a third "episode" of the Kill Bill series?

Jakey! Jake Gyllenhaal news (save for the Kirsten bit here and there) has eluded us for too long. With the theatrical release of Jarhead, he's everywhere! He told reporters during a recent press conference that he chipped his tooth shooting a scene of Jarhead where Jakey's character sticks a rifle muzzle in another guy's mouth. “When I pulled it out, [I hit myself in the mouth and] I remember I looked down and saw that my tooth had come off ... For some reason, I just got so angry that I had chipped my tooth... and just started hitting him and we didn’t talk for a month after that.”

Aw, Jakey. It wasn't his fault you hit yourself in the mouth!

[Photos: not sure where I saw them -- I've had the Paris one forever and was waiting for an opportune time to share. She lands herself in the most awkward photo ops!]