The Aftermath

Wait, wait -- hold off on the Laguna Beach talk. What!? Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman got married!??? I have to admit that I've been slacking on keeping with The Mraz and his uber-cool journal, but what!? I'm hoping "husband" is just an affectionate nickname Tristan calls him ... here is the incriminating evidence, courtesy of Tristan's MySpace.

In response to one of Tristan's photos featuring Mraz and three fans, which reads "My husband and our three kids," a fan commented:Tristan may have secretly married Mraz..but I think it's safe to say they don't have three kids together... Another comment to another photo of the pair reads, screw nick and jessica. screw britney and kevin. if TRISTAN AND JASON had a reality show, THAT would be worth watching....
"LOVE, LOVE, LOVE: MR. AND MRS. A-Z" or something to that extent. But apparently, another fan saw Jason in concert, twice, wearing a "TPISMYGF" ["Tristan Prettyman is my girlfriend"] t-shirt. Erm, I'm going to assume that the whole husband thing's a joke and quietly slip Mraz down to number eight on my personal list of most eligible bachelors.

SO. I had no idea yesterday when I secretly found out -- perhaps well ahead of most of America -- that Laguna Beach's Lauren Conrad would be, in fact, getting her own show that it would be of any interest to anyone. Was this the big surprise Kristin and Lauren had been alluding to? The only surprising thing about it is that people actually think The Hills will be good! They don't pay the MTV editing teams enough, I tell ya. Well, hey. Cute little Heidi Montag, L.C.'s new hot, blonde sidekick seems to have a head on her shoulders and a knack for having fun. If Lauren can't cut it, Heidi will. She knows where it's at. [Photo courtesy of Shine On Media]

The Multiple Personalities of Talan Torriero


And of course, there's Talan playing the role of gay best friend to none other than Ms. Kimberly Stewart ... nice. [Photo courtesy of The Real O.C. boards]

And Talan, tagalong to Paris Hilton. Y'know, now that I actually think about it (I try not to during waking hours. It hurts the brain.), it's actually quite amazing that Paris has managed to drag her fame out for this long. Afterall, she's famous for being famous. Anyway. Mood. Wednesday night. Paris, Stavros and their puppy Talan. Weird combination! What happened to Ryan Cabrera? Was he not hot enough for you, Talan?

According to a Swedish source, Nick Carter has revealed that he has a "secret video" of her from while they were dating. But this is a Backstreet Boy, so ... "We're singing a duet and I'd rather spare the audience from watching that." [Loosely translated, courtesy of Not-Like-You.com]

Paris Hilton has a pet monkey. And it bit her during a shopping trip this past Saturday. Serves you right for naming the thing "Baby Luv" and for making it endure hours of lingerie shopping. [Photo courtesy of Oh No They Didn't! ... P.S. that's not a monkey. It's one of Paris' dozens of other "exotic" pets.]

And this just keeps getting more and more frightening. Katie Holmes is expected to deliver a silent birth, another crazy Scientology quirk. Faded Youth notes that the doctrine holds "that children should be delivered in an atmosphere of total quiet, without any groans, screams, or sounds of pain from the mother, or even the audible exchange of information among hospital personnel." Give the woman a break! But -- one must question whether Ms. Katie will ever give birth to said baby at all -- her bump seemed to have magically disappeared this past weekend! [Photo courtesy of JJB]