The Blondes Strike Back!

Someone who knows someone who knows Taylor Cole from Laguna Beach is happily sharing all their secrets with the World Wide Web. He or she writes, on "Oh No They Didn't!" that both Cedric Channels (J. Wahl's sidekick and wearer of the pink briefs) and Taylor (and about fifteen percent of Laguna Beach High School graduates) go to the University of Arizona, and Talan Torriero went to visit and "never left, so he is trying to get in starting next semester. Also, Jason [Wahler] was never on the baseball team. Rosters from their high[]school apparently prove this ... and the biggie: Jason is in rehab for coke."

Take a deep breath. That was a lot.

Now that cool-down time's over, it's time to get dirty. First of all, I highly doubt that Talan's thinking of enrolling in school in Arizona. I mean, dude, is he going to build a makeshift recording studio in his apartment? How's he going to continue causing a ruckus with Lindsay Lohan? And Brittany Snow? How many girls is he balancing in his little black book right now, anyway? Secondly, Jason? Coke? Rehab? Nah. I mean, does he look like a cokehead to you, in his antique car? He's been seen all over the place with "hottie with a body" Lauren Conrad in the past couple of weeks. And plus, isn't he at that Catholic Aquinas school?

So ... Tara Reid said she's giving up alcohol.

And just when you thought the world was coming to an end, Paris Hilton saves the day with some worthless celebrity fodder. Apparently Tom Sizemore (of Saving Private Ryan) claims that he got some nookie with Hilton when the sound of "repeated clicks of a cigarette lighter" in his house after a party led him to the sex video star. He then suggested that the have sex. He also claims that she said, upon leaving his house the next morning, "Goin' to Sundance. See you next week." Bitch.

Of course she's saying that no such thing ever happened. And, this time, I actually believe her. I mean, he is trying to sell his sex tape, "The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal." [Photos courtesy of celebweb.org and a very unfortunate girl named Kim Cohen.]

So the big question that everyone's been dying to know the answer to: why wasn't Ashton Kutcher's twin brother Michael invited to the Ashton-Demi wedding? Well, tells the boys' mother to Star magazine (a reputable source, I know): “We were determined to keep the wedding a secret and we though the best way to do that was keep Melissa [the wife of Ashton’s brother, Michael] out of the loop ...”. Meaning she has very, very loose lips. Mrs. Kutcher went on to say that it was “a favor to Ashton from a loving brother.” Aww.

And lastly, with everyone hatin' on Ashlee Simpson (even going as far as calling her album "I Am Dreadful"), she seems to be taking things in stride. TeenHollywood.com says that she thinks people have been nicer to her ever since she dyed her hair back to its natural color: "People are nicer to me. They smile at me as I walk down the street ... It's funny because with your hair colour you don't change as a person. But when you have that jet black hair people like think that you might be a little bit scarier. But I'm not scary at all!"
Or maybe they just want to befriend you so they'll be there when you need some comforting when everyone starts slamming your new album. Free drinks, anyone? [Photo courtesy of Clasos]