Someone, please revoke Lohan's license!

BIG NEWS, or not ... Speculation of a rocky relationship between America's favorite newlyweds Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson has come to a climax: once again, sources are reporting that they are on the verge of making a big announcement. Call me a skeptic, but I remember when "sources" were reporting that they were on the verge of making a big announcement earlier this year. But I guess this time it might be for real -- we have Us Weekly's blessings:


(Photo courtesy of Gawker)

Someone took the words out of my mouth when they said that the big announcement would either be that they're dunzo or that they're finally pregnant. And unless Jessica's carrying Johnny Knoxville's baby, I don't think it's the latter. Well, Jessica's been seen around town without her wedding ring, and Nick never showed up to Ashlee's twenty-first birthday. Even with the added temptation of half-naked girls. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

There's tons to report on in the deluded world of Lindsay Lohan. According to PerezHilton.com, Lohan got into her second major car accident of the year. This time, the nineteen-year-old star could not blame the paparazzi.

It started out innocently enough: a sunny Tuesday afternoon in Beverly Hills. Lohan had been spotted eating at Robertson Blvd's celebrity favorite, The Ivy. Then, "Out of nowhere, this car comes racing down Robertson Blvd. The car must have been going about 60-70 mph." Another seemingly amused bystander said, "Lindsay was driving like a maniac and she hit a [red] van that was being driven by an employee of the Newsroom Cafe ... It was a head-on collision." Los Angeles' Robertson Blvd, infamous for being the celebrity go-to block for shopping, is equally infamous for being a paparazzi hangout. So you can imagine the glee felt among the paparazzi when -- lo and behold -- L. Lo gets into a major car accident within zoom's reach. Too bad the only photos we have are from above. You'd think that some sort of catastrophe had occurred, but fortunately, no one was seriously injured.
(Photo courtesy of PerezHilton.com)

And more non-big news on Lohan ... she basically treated people like crap this past weekend at Wyclef Jean's Yeli Foundation benefit in Chicago, according to Page Six. She requested and un-requested a charter flight several times, costing the foundation a pretty penny it shouldn't have been spending on someone who wasn't a Haitian child, and she refused to "mingle" with other celebs and the press -- save for Jeremy Piven, at whom she hollered, "Oooo, I can't stand to look at that!" when he took off his shirt to reveal "a flabby upper body."

And funny quote of the day ... from one of my favorite sites, Overheardinnewyork.com. A generous NYU student shared an enlightening conversation between Gallatin sophomore (or is she, with all the time she's been spending in LA?) Ashley Olsen and the poor Psychology TA whose presence she graced:
TA guy: There are different types of pains, some of which go all the way to the brain and others that only go to the spinal cord.
Ashley Olsen: So do, like, emotional pains go to the brain?
--NYU Psychology building, Washington Place