Wednesday, July 02, 2008

“Stream of consciousness” reactions to “Secret Life” because I don’t have anything better to do.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager
Tuesdays 8/7 Central, ABC Family


[Photos courtesy of shailene.sweetgiggles.net
Is it weird for me to say that I actually think Mischa looks better now?]

Shailene Woodley stars in this show. She used to be on The O.C. as Kaitlin Cooper. Good thing Willa Holland took over. Willa was a casting match made in heaven. Thoughts on Molly Ringwald: she still sounds and talks like a teenager!

This show is produced by Brenda Hampton, aka the mastermind behind Seventh Heaven. This is immediately apparent – did the use the same high school? The font that shows up across the bottom of the screen during the opening scenes looks identical to that of Seventh Heaven.

WHOA, WTF happened to Renee Olstead!? She looks like she’s 19-going-on-34. She looked so much better on Still Standing. Why is she still wasting her time on trying to get her acting career going? Why isn’t she a jazz prodigy? Her voice is amazing!

Diversity overload – my head is hurting.

It’s been a while since I’ve been a teenager, but I don’t think anything about this show is true to the secret life of the American teenager.

If I recall correctly, any Sharpay v3 in high school was not religious and was always frowning, not smiling. What jock would want to date such a talkative and chirpy chick? Maybe it’s because I grew up in New York City. Holy crap the guy wearing the sweater with the purple ... umbrellas? is a horrible actor. Horrendous.

Why does the Asian girl have pigtails? Is there a memo I missed on Asians and pigtails? The only time the Asian girls I went to high school with wore pigtails, it was during a field trip or some sort of weird school outing. Not every Asian character on TV should follow the Lane Kim scheme.

At least Kaitlin “Amy” Cooper’s friends aren’t dumb. That sort of girl wouldn’t put up with dumb girls. She probably reads Nabokov in her free time and is a ballet dancer. And watches Charlie Rose religiously.

Okay, I take the comment about Sharpay v3 (Grace)’s “jock” boyfriend back. She would totally be with that guy. He has a mushroom cut, almost. And they’re wearing complementary shades of baby pink and blue.

She is not fifteen. Nineteen at the very least. IMDB says: 21. And Canadian!

Yikes, Shailene Woodley is a bad actress. She’s such a Plain Jane, it’s incredible they ever hired her to play the snobby Kaitlin Cooper. I mean, I know the point of this show is to drive in the message that anyone could become pregnant, even a band camp nerd. But at least have one who can play the part! Then again ... The O.C. hired Mischa Barton ... I’ll bet Renee Olstead tried out for the part but gained too much weight during the Writer’s Strike so they created the other role for her.

John Mayer’s “Daughters” seems wildly inappropriate in this context.

Oh geez – the exterior shot of the house brought back Seventh Heaven flashbacks.

Amy’s sister is thirteen years old? Are you serious? Okay, maybe now I’m understanding why they played “Daughters”. This father is insane. Michael Lohan insane. Awkward dinner conversation ...

The only reason I can think of for the show focusing so much time on Sharpay v3 is that she is going to end up being cheated on and then using sex to get him back.
Grace’s dad is sleazy as hell. NOT believable, for someone who’s raised someone as religious as Gracey.

Why don’t the Asian kids have their own storyline?

... I think I’ll watch next week’s episode, so however horrible and unbelievable it was, it was interesting enough. Anyway, we all know that the more fantastical a show, the more addictive it is. See: Gossip Girl.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Agree to all that you said....the kid that plays ben is a miniature Bob Saget...looks like him,acts like him (horribly). Totally unbelievable as a wannebe baby daddy! The only halfway believable character is Adrienne, but she's such a slut it takes away from how pretty she really is.